July 20, 1770 — to His Parents

This letter indicates that Asbury was still at Towcester, though it was written from Weedon.

WEEDON, ENGLAND

July 20, 1770

[TO HIS PARENTS]

Dear Parents:

I send these few lines to let you know that I am well, and that I had your last, though I have put off writing through the hurry of business. At present I find myself a little at rest to write to you, though in past life various have been the exercises of my afflicted mind, and still I cry out, Woe is me! for I am a man of unclean lips. A want of holiness bows me down before God and man. I know that I am not what I ought to be, in thought, word, and deed. And O how hard to be borne is this, when well considered. Thou tellest another he should not speak evil. Dost thou? Thou that sayest another should have no unholy desires, hast thou such in thy heart? When I meet with fightings without and fears within, my heart trembles, my courage fails, my hands hang down, and I am ready to give up all for lost. I despair almost of holding out to the end, when I think of the difficulties I have to wade through. I can say with Job, I would not live alway. Or, O! that thou wouldst hide me in the grave! Or with Jonah, ‘Tis better for me to die than to live. Oh! the peaceable dead are set free. The bliss that I covet, they have.

At this time I am in trying circumstances about the people and places; but sometimes I please myself that I shall go hence and leave these parts. But then I shall take my nature with me that starts at suffering, and the devil will be hard at my .heels to tempt me; and if my trials are different, still they will and must come.

I do not expect to stay here another year. Where I shall go I cannot tell. Most that know you ask after you, and give their love to you,—Miss Tyers, in particular, and her mother, and Mrs. Spencer. I read those lines to Betty Gent and her husband, and both of them seemed much affected. I have been most of my time in Bedfordshire since you left me. Mr. England’s people are well. They have had the things you sent; not one broken. I hope both of you will keep on in the good way of God, and will seek to him, that you may increase with the increase of God. In so doing you will do well.

If you write, let it be quickly. Direct to Towcester. I believe I shall go to the Conference, and when that is over I will come home, unless something very pressing fall out. And if so, I will watch for an opportunity, and will take the first to come home. If I do come, it will be about the first Wednesday after the Conference. If I do not come, I will send a letter by some preacher. Give my love to all friends. I am glad to hear of your prosperity. May the Lord increase it a hundred fold in every soul, and among the people in general.

So prays your unworthy son, yet in dutiful respect,

FRANCIS ASBURY

Drew University Library