1775

I see the great necessity of always beginning to glorify God, with fresh vigour of soul. So prone is man to grow languid in devout exercises, that without fresh and powerful exertions he will soon sink into dead formality. At Mr. Bell’s,¹ where we dined to-day, I was much grieved at the manner of Mr. Rankin’s conversation: but let it be a caution to me to be prudent and watchful. The next day my soul was greatly alive to God. And the people here are so kind to me that it fills me with astonishment and gratitude.

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For several days my throat has been much disordered, but it is now something better. Glory to God! he sweetly draws my heart into close and comfortable communion with himself. In reading the history of the Puritans, I am surprised at the conduct of Archbishop Laud. A monster of a man indeed!

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Find myself free, through grace, from all impure affections; but I am troubled on account of my disposition to trifle in conversation. Yet it is the will of God to save me from this also. May the happy hour speedily arrive when I shall be altogether such as my Lord would have me to be!

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I had some conversation with that pious, good woman, the widow of Gilbert Tennent.¹ She greatly lamented the condition of her son, who was in the Jersey college;² a youth of about seventeen years of age, but under no deep impressions for the salvation of his soul. How grievous must this be to a pious parent! While carnal parents regard only the worldly prosperity of their children, truly religious parents are chiefly concerned about the eternal salvation of their souls. I was informed today that poor Abraham Whitworth is living with his wife, and appears to be industriously inclined.

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The Lord was pleased to bless my soul with that peace which passes understanding. A letter from my friend, William Lynch, informed me that three of my friends were coming to conduct me, if possible, to Baltimore. But it is a doubt with me if I shall, with consent, be permitted to go. May the Lord give me wisdom, patience, and faith, that in all cases I may know how to act or suffer, according to his will and my duty!

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The conduct of Mr. Rankin is such as calls for patience. He has reported that I was the cause of Abraham Whitworth’s becoming a preacher. Whereas when he was appointed it was by the conference. And the time when I wanted him to travel was a year before his appointment, when his heart was right with God. Moreover, at the last conference I was doubtful of him, and so expressed myself both by word and letter.

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As my throat was worse, I stayed at home and took physic. Part of my time was spent in reading the history of the Puritans: and I found my affections pure, and fixed on their proper object; though Satan did not fail to assault me with many temptations.

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I visited the Quaker meeting;¹ but wondered to see so many sensible men sit to hear two or three old women talk. In the latter part of the day I was much indisposed and kept at home. But the next morning I found myself something better; and earnestly longed for purity of heart, and perfect resignation to all the will of God.

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In the night my throat was bad, attended with a smart fever. My mind is variously exercised at different times. Sometimes thinking that my affliction is judicial; other times thinking that natural causes produce natural effects. But, blessed Jesus, I must be still and know that thou art God. From this time till Lord’s day, 23d, I had a putrid sore throat, and two persons sat up with me every night; but I found relief from purges, and a mixture of nitre and fever powder. Mr. Rankin keeps driving away at the people, telling them how bad they are, with the wonders which he has done and intends to do. It is surprising that the people are not out of patience with him. If they did not like his friends better than him, we should soon be welcome to take a final leave of them.

From the twenty-third of January till the first of February, my affliction was so severe that I was not able to write. There were several small ulcers on the inside of my throat; and the pain of the gatherings was so severe that for two weeks I could not rest of nights. My friends were very kind, and, expecting my death, they affectionately lamented over me. But on the 29th of January I was happily relieved by the discharge of near a pint of white matter. For a while my mind was in great heaviness; but after some severe conflicts with the powers of darkness, I was calmly resigned to the will of a wise and gracious God. O Lord, how wonderful are thy works! It is my desire to know the cause of this affliction, that, if it is in my power, I may remove it. Is it that I may know more of myself, and lie in the dust? Or, for my past unfaithfulness? But whatever may be the cause, I humbly hope that all those painful dispensations will work together for my good. In the course of this affliction I found that when my spirit was broken, and brought to submit with cheerfulness to the will of God, then the disorder abated, and I began to recover; though Satan was very busy, and, like Job’s impious wife, suggested to my mind that I should curse God and die; nevertheless, through grace, I am more than conqueror, and can give glory to God. The gargle which I used first, to scatter, if possible, the inflammation, was sage tea, honey, vinegar, and mustard; then that which was used to accelerate the gathering, was mallows with a fig cut in pieces: and lastly, to strengthen the part, we used a gargle of sage tea, alum, rose leaves, and loaf sugar. On Monday the 30th, some letters came from Baltimore, earnestly pressing me to go. And Mr. Rankin was so kind as to visit me; when all was sweetness and love.

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I am once more able to write, and feel a solemn, grateful sense of God’s goodness resting on my soul. My all of body, soul, and time, are his due; and should be devoted, without the least reserve, to his service and glory. O that he may give me grace sufficient!

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I am still getting better, but not able to speak in public; though the word of the Lord is like fire within me, and I am almost weary of forbearing. The next day my mind was much taken up with God, and several of my friends, who were so kind as to visit me, were melted in conversation and prayer.

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My mind was filled with pure, evangelical peace. I had some conversation with Capt. Webb, an Israelite indeed, and we both concluded that it was my duty to go to Baltimore. And I feel willing to go, if it is even to die there; but, at present, am not permitted. I was confined to the house all the next day; but O! how painful are these dumb Sabbaths to me! However, it is my duty to submit to the providence of a wise God.

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My body is but weak, and my mind is somewhat distressed, lest I should be too much concerned about the ark of the Lord, and wish to take the cause out of his hand. How frail a creature is man! How little can he penetrate into the design and works of God!

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Mr. Taylor¹ took me in a chaise to dine with Mr. Rankin and Mr. Martin Rodda.² My mind is somewhat troubled with temptations, but still I have peace. I am weak in body; and want more patience and resignation to submit to the will of God, till he is pleased to restore me. What is life? Lord, help me to be always ready to end it here!

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From the state of my body to-day, I feel great expectation of being restored to health. But O! how my soul longeth for more spiritual health! This day I wrote to Mr. Rogers,¹ at Baltimore, to come for me.

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My body continues to recover. But I discover many weaknesses and failures in my inner man. When shall my soul be adorned as a bride for her bridegroom? When shall all within and all without be holiness to the Lord? Notwithstanding my illness, I have read Neal’s History of the Puritans, consisting of four volumes, in about two months.

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How great a blessing is health! Though of late it is but seldom enjoyed by me. But, through mercy, my body now feels like being restored; and I am afraid of being thereby too much elated. The Lord shows me the excellency of affliction, and enables me to exercise resignation in all conditions of life. I am now reading Mosheim’s Ecclesiastical History; but as a writer he is too dry and speculative.

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My heart pants to labour for God; to be once more employed in building up his spiritual house. O that he may strengthen me, set me to work, and greatly bless my poor endeavours! Preaching the glorious Gospel seems to be my proper employment; and when I am long detained from it, I appear to be out of my element. But hope, a blessed hope revives, that before long I shall be of some service in the Church of Christ.

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My mind has been kept in great peace: but I am somewhat troubled on account of my defects in usefulness and spirituality. May the Lord make me more serious and more spiritual in all my internal and external actions! And though my mind was much taken up with God on Friday, yet I was too free in conversation. My earnest desire is, to have full power over every thought, word, and action. I now ventured to preach from Psalm 126:3: “The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.” Richard Sause wrote me a letter with his usual kindness; and informed me that Mr. James Dempster concurred in sentiment relative to my going to Baltimore. And it is thought by many, that there will be an alteration in the affairs of our Church government.

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Mr. Rankin preached his farewell sermon, from Deuteronomy 30:19. He has now been here ten months.

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Most of this day was spent in private devotion and reading. I am full of humble expectation that the Lord will restore me to better health and greater usefulness. May my eye be single, aiming at nothing but the glory of God, that my whole body may be full of light!

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I received a letter from Miss Gilbert at Antigua; in which she informed me, that Mr. Nathaniel Gilbert¹ was going away; and as there are about three hundred members in society, she entreats me to go and labour amongst them. And as Mr. Wesley has given his consent, I feel inclined to go, and take one of the young men with me. But there is one obstacle in my way—the administration of the ordinances. It is possible to get the ordination of a presbytery; but this would be incompatible with Methodism: which would be an effectual bar in my way. It appears very strange, that after so much affliction, my heart should be so languid and dull. This day Mr. Rankin set off for New York.

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Mr. Ruff and Mr. Rodda came to town. I preached in the evening from Romans 1:16: “I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ,” &c. And showed, First, Of what he was not ashamed: the experience, precepts, and blessings, of the Gospel; to preach it in its purity; to suffer for it. Secondly, Why he was not ashamed of this: Because it is the power of God to salvation from the guilt, power, and remains of sin; the power of God is displayed in preaching the simple truths of the Gospel. Thirdly, To whom it became so: to them that believe, first, the threatenings, precepts, and invitations; and then in Jesus Christ for this present salvation.

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I packed up my clothes in order to depart on Monday morning for Baltimore. And while giving a few words of exhortation in the evening, we found it a solemn, feeling time. We also had a very powerful season the next evening, while I preached to a full house on the awful subject of the rich man and Lazarus.

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My dear children in the Lord, Philip Rogers and Samuel Owings, with several other kind friends, accompanied me out of town. We stopped at Chester, where I preached from these piercing words of our Lord, “Thou knowest not the day of thy visitation.” There are but little hopes of this place at present. Though, if they do not fill up the measure of their iniquity, the time to favour them may come. The Lord hasten it, before the present generation drops into eternity! As it is some time since I have been accustomed to labour and fatigue, my body was exceedingly weak and weary at night.

DELAWARE

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Stopping at Wilmington to preach in the evening, a barber came to shave me, who once professed religion, and had been a soldier in the twenty-third regiment; but now he is a deserter both from God and man. On our way to Susquehanna the next day, we accidentally called on Mr. Isaac Hersey, whose heart was much affected while we prayed with him and his family. When we came to the ferry, we had an agreeable time, several joining us while we called on the Lord by prayer in our room.

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We called at the house of Mr. Josias Dallam and rested about an hour. Sister Dallam has treated me with all the tenderness of a mother towards a son: and may He that will not forget a cup of water given in his name, abundantly reward her!

MARYLAND

We then pursued our journey to Baltimore; and my heart was greatly refreshed at the sight of my spiritual children and kind friends there, for whose welfare my soul had travailed both present and absent. The next day I had the pleasure of seeing our new house,¹ and my old friends, with some new ones added to their number. Here are all my own with increase.

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Both in town and at the Point, large numbers attended to hear the word. The power of God was present; and I had an inward witness that it was the will of God I should, at that time, be amongst those people. Nicholas Jones is come home to God, and Richard Moale¹ is on his way.

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My mind was peaceful and calm. The next day I set out in a carriage for Mr. Taylor’s, about nine miles from town, and found a large congregation, many of whom came from Elk Ridge. On Wednesday, I returned to town, and was powerfully assaulted by Satan. But, glory to God! He is my sun and my shield; he discovers to my mind the temptations, and keeps me from their power. May I ever feel my obligations, and delight in giving all my strength and time to his service!

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My spirit was grieved within me to see the wickedness of mankind in this town—to see how they oppose the truth of God. The power of Satan is only checked in a small degree: but when shall he be quite cast out? Before he will suffer his kingdom to be entirely overthrown, he will, no doubt, do all he can in stimulating his trusty servants to defend his cause. Preaching on Friday at William Lynch’s, the wealthy Mr. Charles Ridgely¹ was present. And who can tell but the Lord may reach his heart!

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My body is somewhat unwell; but my soul is in health and peace. Though I have some cause of lamentation, for being too free in conversation with my friends.

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Much of the power of God was felt at the Point; and a divine energy went forth amongst the people that night in town, while I discoursed from that awakening scripture, Romans 2:8, 9, 10: “But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil,” &c. Christ was precious to my soul, which was filled with divine peace. I saw brother Strawbridge and entered into a free conversation with him. His sentiments relative to Mr. Rankin corresponded with mine. But all these matters I can silently commit to God, who overrules both in earth and heaven.

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After preaching at O.C.’s, about five miles from town, in a comfortable frame of mind, I returned. The next day I parted with brother Strawbridge and felt my mind depressed by temptations. But a holy flame glowed in my heart, while discoursing at night on the “cloud of witnesses.” Believing that some souls were benefitted, I commended myself to the divine protection, and slept in peace. Though it rained on Thursday evening, yet many attended whilst I enforced the apostolic injunction: “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us.” It is to be feared that many Christians do not “lay aside every weight” which impedes their spiritual progress. If they did, they would not halt, and go on as if they were weary; but be enabled to run, and that with patience, the race that is set before them.

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The glory of God and the salvation of men were my principal objects. I went to preach at the Point, but they were training the militia, so that the town seemed all in confusion.¹

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Peace and pure desires filled my soul; and Christ was the object of my love. Glory be to thee, O Lord! The next day the Spirit of the Lord God was with me in preaching at the Point; and with great pathos I was enabled to deliver the truth at night in town. Many of the audience felt the weight of God’s word. May they yield to the sacred touch, and be saved! On Monday and Tuesday, I made a small excursion into the country, and laboured to bring souls to Christ at Mr. Rodger’s and Mr. Taylor’s. It seems Caleb Dorsey has not lost all the concern he felt some time ago. I afterward returned safe to town in the evening; and spent a part of the next day in reading Taylor’s Treatise on Holy Living.¹ This book was made a blessing to me above seven years ago. I preached in the evening from 1 Samuel 10:6: “The Spirit of the Lord will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man.” Here I took occasion to show,

I. The operations of the Spirit on the heart of man—to convince, convict, convert, and sanctify.

II. The effects of these operations.

1. A strong inclination to speak for God. This is the duty of every Christian.

2. A great change—in judgment, desire, spirit, temper, and practice.

I found myself much indisposed when I returned to my lodgings, and the disorder of my body depressed my spirits.

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I ventured to Patapsco Neck, and had a full house at Captain Ridgely’s, whose wife is brought by grace to the knowledge of God in Christ Jesus.

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My heart was delightfully taken up with God. In the time of preaching at the Point this morning, my spirit was tender, and many of the audience were much melted. I also found myself greatly drawn out in preaching at night in town.

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Mr. Otterbein, the Dutch minister, accompanied me to Joshua Owing’s, where we had a blessed and refreshing season. The next day, at town, I met with brother Williams¹ from Virginia; who gave me a great account of the work of God in those parts—five or six hundred souls justified by faith, and five or six circuits formed: so that we have now fourteen circuits in America; and about twenty-two preachers are required to supply them. Thus we see how Divine Providence makes way for the word of truth, and the Holy Spirit attends it. May it spread in power, and cover these lands! Brother Williams is a very singular man, but honest in his intentions, and sincerely engaged for the prosperity of the work. I dined with Mr. Otterbein, the minister mentioned above, and spent the afternoon with him and Mr. Swope, another minister of the same profession. They both appear to be sincerely religious, and intend to make proposals to the German synod this year, to lay a plan for the reformation of the Dutch congregations.

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This was a day of joy and great consolation to my soul. I clearly saw the propriety and necessity of devoting every faculty and every hour to God.

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Many people attended to hear the word, and there appeared to be much feeling amongst them. I had a desire to hear for myself, Mr. Patrick Allison,¹ the Presbyterian minister. His discourse was quite systematical and amusing, but if he had studied to pass by the conscience of his hearers, he could not have done it more effectually. Monday and Tuesday I spent comfortably, in labouring on a short tour in the country: and was graciously assisted on Tuesday night at town.

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I experienced the benefit of visiting the sick, and found much satisfaction in my own soul, while speaking plainly to a carnal young man. The next day Satan assaulted me with great violence, but he found my heart fixed on God.

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After visiting two sick persons, I went to brother Lynch’s, and was enabled to speak freely and feelingly to a large number of rich and poor assembled there. On Saturday I returned, and found that a young man who had turned his back on the gospel, and devoted himself to sin, had been suddenly snatched away by death. How awful! Does not this appear like the judicial hand of God? Does it not seem as a powerful warning to surviving sinners, especially such as answer his character? And yet it is to be feared, many will not bear the rod, nor regard him that appointed it.

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Though my body was weak, and my mind grieved by the wickedness of the wicked, yet I was enabled to speak powerfully both at the Point and town. The blessing of the Lord attended us, both at Mr. Evans’s on Monday, and at O.C.’s on Tuesday. Here I met with brother Strawbridge, and found we were of one heart and of one mind. Lord, grant that all the preachers may be thus united in sentiment and affection!

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Had some conversation with Mrs. J., from Philadelphia. She appeared to be in distress about her soul, and said she was convinced of her lost estate the last Lord’s day.

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God is my portion, and my all-sufficient good. He fills me with pure, spiritual life. My heart is melted into holy love, and altogether devoted to my Lord. Many came to hear the word of life in the evening, and my soul was supplied with strength.

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The Spirit of God attended our endeavours both in town and Point. My heart was greatly enlarged in town especially. There is a very apparent alteration in this place. There is not so much drunkenness and neglect of the ordinances, as in former times; and the people are much more inclined to attend the places of public worship. So that, on the whole, I entertain a lively hope that the Lord will yet raise up for himself a large society in the town of Baltimore. On Monday my frame was weak and weary: nevertheless I had to preach once in town, and once in the country, about seven miles off.

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Having preached at several places in the country, I returned to town; and find that the Lord assisteth me from time to time. He frequently revives both body and soul, when I am almost ready to give over.

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Just before preaching at the Point, six men were accidentally shot in the militia exercise. I will not venture to assert, the captain collected them for exercise because it was preaching night. However, I visited one of the wounded, and prayed with him.

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I dined with Captain Ridgely, who appeared to be under some small awakenings. Afterward came to town, when brother Rankin and I met, like Jacob and Esau; and all was love and peace. In the evening Mr. Rankin preached a good sermon on John 12:36: “While ye have the light believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light.”

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Our congregations were large; amongst whom were Mr. G., Mr. C., and others. In the evening Mr. Rankin preached an alarming sermon. On Monday I visited a sick woman, who soon after went into eternity; and then I went to Mr. Evans’s, where many found it beneficial to them that they were present to hear the word of the Lord. By particular invitation, I lodged on Tuesday night at Captain Ridgely’s; and in the course of a free conversation, he told me that he was brought under his first conviction at Mr. Taylor’s, from Proverbs 28:13.

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I have not been unassisted in the public exercises of this week, and now find my soul in a peaceful frame, though not without a serious concern for the cause of the country. Lord, turn aside thy displeasure, and mercifully interpose!

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I preached three times, and the cup of my blessing was full. What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits? But we have alarming military accounts from Boston, New York, and Philadelphia.¹ Surely the Lord will overrule, and make all these things subservient to the spiritual welfare of his Church. On Monday I visited the country, and, having preached at a few places, returned on Tuesday night to town; and found the people all inflamed with a martial spirit.

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My soul longs for a perfect conformity to the image and will of God in all things. I desire nothing but him, and he causeth my heart to overflow with peaceful joy. I preached at the Point this evening, but have more hope for the inhabitants of the town than for those of the Point. O that I could learn the holy art of doing more good for precious souls! It troubles me to think of being so unprofitable.

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At the appointed time for preaching we had an awful storm of thunder and lightning, which killed three horses. However, I began in the midst of it, and spoke with liberty of spirit, and confidence in God.

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I was grieved to-day that I did not feel myself more steadily devoted to God. In the evening John King preached a good and profitable sermon, but long and loud enough.

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I preached twice and held a love feast; but heaviness is brought upon my mind by some that would once (comparatively speaking) have plucked out their eyes, and have given them to me; but now they slight me! “Cursed is the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm; whose heart departeth from the Lord!” May my heart trust in the Lord!

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Several friends set out in company with me to the quarterly meeting. When we came to Jacob Giles’s,¹ he did not appear to be so open and free as he was about a year ago. Prayer is almost neglected, and both his children and servants are almost like wild, untaught Indians. Ah! what is all the substance of this world, without the love and fear of God? I proceeded the next morning to meet the preachers and stewards. At ten o’clock we held our love feast; though my mind was under some exercises, so that I spoke but little. However, at four o’clock I preached from Isaiah 41:13, with great enlargement, and to a large concourse of people. But was confined in the evening to the company of men who were destitute of religion, and full of sin and politics. My brethren and myself were glad to have prayer in the morning and leave them. If there were no other hell than the company of wicked men, I would say, From such a hell, good Lord, deliver me!

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Thursday, 11, was appointed as a general fast:¹ I preached on the occasion, and the Lord made it a solemn, heart-affecting time, so that we did not conclude till about three o’clock. The next day I reached Bohemia Manor; but as it was late, some of the congregation had departed: I therefore exhorted those that were left; and then proceeded to Newcastle.²

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Both last night and this day, I hope my skirts were clear of the blood of the people in this little town, whether they reject or accept of an offered salvation.

PENNSYLVANIA

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After stopping to preach at Chester I then went on to Philadelphia.

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I had some friendly and close conversation with the preachers, in which we spoke plainly of our experience and doctrines. Mr. Rodda preached in the evening. From Wednesday till Friday we spent in conference, with great harmony and sweetness of temper. If the Lord spares me, I am now about bending my course towards Norfolk, to preach the glad tidings of salvation to perishing sinners there.

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Having preached the last evening with some sweet enlargement, I left Philadelphia this morning, and set off for Norfolk. Preached at night to a few people in Chester, and was conducted the next morning in a friend’s chaise to Cecil court house,¹ where I embarked for Norfolk.

VIRGINIA

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With a thankful heart I landed at Norfolk,¹ after having been much tossed about by contrary winds in the bay. My accommodations on board the vessel were also very indifferent, so that it was a disagreeable and fatiguing passage; but

“In hope of that immortal crown

I now the cross sustain;

And gladly wander up and down,

And smile at toil and pain.”

Here I found about thirty persons in society after their manner;² but they had no regular class meetings. However, here are a few who are willing to observe all the rules of our society. Their present preaching house is an old, shattered building, which has formerly been a play-house. Surely the Lord will not always suffer his honour to be trampled in the dust. No; I entertain a hope that we shall have a house and a people in this town. My heart is filled with holy thoughts, and deeply engaged in the work of God. On Tuesday evening about one hundred and fifty souls attended to hear the word, and about fifty at five o’clock on Wednesday morning, which, by the presence of the Lord, was found to be a good time. I then went over to Portsmouth, and found my spirit at liberty in preaching to a number of souls there.

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The Lord is pleased to show me the danger which a preacher is in of being lifted up by pride, and falling into the condemnation of the devil. How great is the danger of this! A considerable degree of ballast is highly necessary to bear frequent and sudden puffs of applause. Lord, fill me with genuine humility, that the strongest gusts from Satan or the world may never move me!

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My body is weak, but my soul is in a sweet, pacific frame. I see the need of constant watchfulness and entire devotion to God. My heart was stayed on God while preaching in the evening from Psalm 68:18.

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Many seemed willing to hear, both morning and evening, at Norfolk; but in the afternoon, at Portsmouth, the congregation, though large, seemed to have very little sensibility. On Monday I found myself better than could be expected, after preaching three times, and meeting the society the day before. May the Lord brace up my feeble frame, and by his grace I am determined to use it for his glory and the service of his Church. The congregation were attentive in the evening while I enlarged on the fruits of the Spirit.

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I went to the farthermost part of Portsmouth parish, through such a swamp¹ as I never saw before, and partook of a blessing with the people, some of whom are of a simple heart. After having preached at Mr. Fulford’s, in St. Bride’s parish, then at Mr. Manning’s² and Mr. Randle’s, I returned to Portsmouth on Thursday evening, and found my soul in peace. I have lately read Mason on Self-Knowledge. This book, with Frank on the Fear of Man, and Thomas à Kempis, are most excellent books for a Christian.³

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I have continued labouring, with different degrees of encouragement, between Norfolk and Portsmouth; but have not met with that success which my soul longs for. Our friends set a subscription on foot to-day, for building a house of worship, and have raised only about f34. Had they the same spirit of liberality which they have in Baltimore, they might easily accomplish it.

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I found thirteen serious souls in society about six miles from town, on the Suffolk road; but poor brother Owins¹ is subject to great heaviness through manifold temptations. The congregation here was small; however, some of them were much affected. I gave a close and pointed exhortation in the evening at Portsmouth; and there was a melting of heart amongst the people. I preached again the next day, and met both the classes, and felt my hopes for Portsmouth begin to revive.

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Yesterday’s labour of preaching three times, &c., was not too much for me. And this day my soul enjoyed delightful communion with God. Satan assaults; but He that is for me is stronger than he that is against me.

“Be thou my strength, be thou my way,

Protect me through my life’s short day;

In all my acts may wisdom guide,

And keep me, Saviour, near thy side.”

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I preached at New Mill Creek, and joined two persons to the small society there. Went thence to Northwest Woods,¹ and preached at the house of Mr. A.; and after preaching at two or three more places, I returned on Thursday to Portsmouth.

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The God of hope fills me with joy and peace in believing. About seventy souls sat under the word this evening, and some of them were very deeply affected. But too often it is as the morning cloud, and as the early dew. How irrational it is, that rational beings should employ their thoughts with readiness on every trifling subject, when they can hardly be brought to think seriously on the things of eternity, although the Holy Spirit awakens their sensibility, and alarms their fears! O, the strange perverseness, the deadly depravity of man!

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Preached at five in the morning, but am depressed in spirit, to see such an insensibility to the things of God amongst the people. Surely, I am now in a dry and barren land, but hope it will not be so long.

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I preached at Mr. Bruce’s,¹ a new place, and a large company was collected. The Lord stirred the hearts of the people under the preaching of the word at Harding’s,² and on Friday I returned and preached at night in Portsmouth. After I had met the classes and put them into bands the next day, I then set off for Craney Island;³ but found the weather excessively hot, such as I had never known in England. On my return some of the members appeared a little refractory in submitting to discipline. But without discipline we should soon be as a rope of sand; so that it must be enforced, let who will be displeased.

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Our congregations consisted of many people from the country as well as the towns; and I knew by experience that “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

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Monday, 3, was spent in writing to the preachers, and reading; and I was much contracted in my ideas while preaching at night. But all my soul is taken up with God; so that my desire is unto the Lord, and the remembrance of his name.

“Give me thyself; from every boast,

From every wish set free;

Let all I am in thee be lost,

But give thyself to me.”

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The last three days I have laboured at different places in the country, and preached this evening in Portsmouth. Though I feel some concern for the souls of my fellow men, yet not enough. If we could but see by faith the danger to which poor unpardoned sinners are continually exposed, if we could but have a realizing view of that unquenchable fire into which they must be plunged, dying in their present state, how could we rest day or night from using all possible endeavours to prevent their eternal damnation? O unbelief! thou most destructive sin! how dost thou destroy the vigour of Christians’ endeavours, as well as the souls of the unregenerate!

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After preaching at five o’clock in Norfolk, I went to Portsmouth, met the classes, and read and explained the rules; telling them that every civil society has its proper rules, and persons appointed to see them kept, and that every member forfeited his right to membership if he wilfully transgressed them. If men see the necessity of being thus subject to order for the sake of temporary advantages, how much more cheerfully should we be subject for the eternal advantages which attend the salvation of our souls!

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I returned to town after a short tour, and preaching several times in the country. In this tour I lodged at the house of brother Owins, mentioned some time ago, a man of a gloomy spirit but solid piety. In his house there is a true spiritual Church—three souls all of one mind, and sincerely intent on seeking and serving the Lord. I met the classes in town and found my soul sweetly stayed on the Lord, though my animal spirits flagged by reason of the extreme heat. Friend Luke¹ is opposed to our rules; but no man can expect to abide with us, unless he is so satisfied with our rules as to manifest a proper respect and conformity. He may be, as I hope he is, a well-meaning man, but he is deficient in religious judgment.

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I have now been a few days doing my Master’s business in the country; but have taken cold, and am afflicted with a severe headache, so that I am almost ready to lie by. However, the next day I found myself something better, and came to Portsmouth, met the classes, and preached. My heart and my flesh cry out for God.

“Fulfil, fulfil my large desires,

Large as infinity!

Give, give me all my soul requires—

All, all that is in thee.”

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There appeared to be many wild people in the congregation, though the grace of God is sufficient to make them tame. But the Almighty dealeth with man as with a rational creature: therefore we may go on in our folly, like the wild ass’s colt, till we drop into endless perdition, unless we yield to the sacred touch of grace, and become workers together with God.

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I preached to a small company at brother Williams’s;¹ and before the congregation was dismissed, an honest Christian who had been justified about twelve months before, rose up and spoke a few broken words, which affected the people more than all that had been said. What an excellent thing is simplicity of heart! How ready is God to own and bless it! It would be well for professors of some standing, to inquire impartially if they have not lost their first simplicity. Old professors are very apt to become wise in their own esteem, and fools in God’s esteem. I have constant inward fevers, and drag a cumbersome body with me; but my soul is united to Jesus; though I ardently wish to feel more fervent love to my God and Saviour. Calling at brother Owins’s in this little excursion, I found his wife exceedingly happy in the love of God, and I know not but she is sanctified wholly.

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At my return to town, I found the people in some commotion; their trading to the West Indies was prohibited. However, the little society seemed determined to cleave to the Lord. The next day I went down the river to Mr. Ellis’,¹ and preached, (perhaps to but little purpose,) to a company of ignorant, careless people.

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I was greatly assisted in my public exercises both in Norfolk and Portsmouth. If it were in my power, and consistent with the will of God, every soul of them should be brought to Christ. But alas! these are vain thoughts; for the Almighty has an infinitely greater desire for their eternal welfare. But the whole of the matter is this: they “will not come to Christ,” in the way he has appointed, “that they might have life;” and thus many will eternally perish in their sins.

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I spent the preceding part of this week preaching in the country as usual, and with various prospects of success; but came back to-day, met the classes, which appeared to be much more engaged for heaven, and preached in the evening.

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My spirit was a little dejected, but blessed with the peace of God. I had some conversation with Mr. Stevenson,¹ who said the people should be kept in society, if they did not meet in class; and intimated, that, instead of preaching the Gospel, I had been exposing their faults. So this is part of what I have gained by my labour. But I let him know that our rules were intended for use.

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I received a letter from Mr. Thomas Rankin, in which he informed me that himself, Mr. Rodda, and Mr. Dempster had consulted, and deliberately concluded it would be best to return to England. But I can by no means agree to leave such a field for gathering souls to Christ, as we have in America. It would be an eternal dishonour to the Methodists, that we should all leave three thousand souls, who desire to commit themselves to our care; neither is it the part of a good shepherd to leave his flock in time of danger: therefore, I am determined, by the grace of God, not to leave them, let the consequence be what it may. Our friends here appeared to be distressed above measure, at the thoughts of being forsaken by the preachers. So I wrote my sentiments both to Mr. Thomas Rankin and Mr. George Shadford.

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I set out on my little country tour, and after preaching at Mr. Bruce’s, brother Williams’s, and a few other places, returned on Friday to Portsmouth and preached in the evening, though much indisposed. This week we have had such thunder and lightning as I never knew before. Thus, by going from one climate to another, we may meet with things of which we had very little idea. Then how will it be when we change worlds, instead of climates! And how surprised will impenitent sinners be, when they go from earth to hell! That God whose power produces the thunder and lightning, of which the inhabitants of some parts of the earth have very little conception, is undoubtedly able to produce the unquenchable fire, of which many impenitent sinners have very little belief.

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My own soul was enlarged in preaching, but the people were too little affected. On Monday, I spoke both morning and evening; but we were interrupted by the clamour of arms, and preparations of war. My business is, to be more intensely devoted to God. Then, “The rougher the way,

The shorter our stay;

The tempests that rise

Shall gloriously hurry our souls to the skies.”

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Preaching at Mr. Harding’s, about sixteen miles from town, I met with Mr. Pinner[?]¹ from North Carolina, who invited me to go and form a circuit in Currituck county, where they have very little preaching but what they pay for at the rate of three pounds per sermon. I accepted the invitation, and appointed the 10th of September for the time to visit them. A letter from brother George Shadford,² which came to hand on Friday, gave an account of about two hundred souls brought to Christ within the space of two months. Glory to God for the salvation of sinners! Surely I am in a dry and barren place! And there is but little prospect of doing good; though the Spirit of holiness possesses my own heart. But O! how it pants for more faith and love! How it longs to be more useful in the Church of Christ!

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My body is weak; but this does not concern me like the want of more grace. My heart is too cool towards God: I want to feel it like a holy flame. I am also sometimes afraid that I shall never do any more good.

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I preached three times as usual; and heard a sermon on the dignity of human nature. Vain philosophy! “Every imagination of the thoughts of the heart (in an unrenewed man) is only evil continually.” Then what is the dignity of depraved human nature? Received a letter from Mr. Thomas Rankin, expressing a change in his intention of returning to England. Rode to Mr. Bruce’s, on Tuesday, where many of the people were much affected under preaching. Lord, water the seed sown, that sooner or later it may bring forth fruit to thy glow! The weather is now so hot, that my body is greatly enfeebled, and my mind almost unfit for every exercise. But I desire in patience to possess my soul. I went to Mr. Ellis’s on Saturday, but there was so little prospect of doing them any good, I took my leave of them. My body was fatigued, my soul was tempted and cast down; but in meeting the people at night in town my spirit was refreshed.

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The Spirit of the Lord wrought powerfully in our congregations, and some were deeply affected. On Monday, I set off for Mill Creek,¹ to hold our quarterly meeting. We found it a peaceful, comfortable time. Mr. Strawbridge² discovered his independent principles, in objecting to our discipline. He appears to want no preachers: he can do as well or better than they. But it is likely self-sufficiency is the spring of all this. After preaching at a few other places on the way, I returned to Portsmouth on Friday; and on Saturday we had a most remarkable storm—the wind at north-east, and blew several vessels on shore; and among others the Mercury man-of-war. Houses were blown down; docks torn up; bridges carried away; abundance of trees broken and torn up by the roots; and several tracts of land overflowed with water. What a peculiar blessing is true religion!

“Who in the Lord confide,

And feel his sprinkled blood.

In storms and hurricanes abide,

Firm as the mount of God.”

A more awful scene than this will be unfolded: when God shall judge the world by the man Christ Jesus. How then will poor sinners quake and tremble, when “the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat! O that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end!”

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I was taken very ill with the fall fever, and being able to take but little nourishment, was much reduced. However, I put my trust in the Lord, and committed all my concerns to him; but was not able to keep any journal till the 26th instant, and then felt myself but very little better.

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Brother Williams¹ died. The Lord does all things well: perhaps brother Williams was in danger of being entangled in worldly business, and might thereby have injured the cause of God. So he was taken away from the evil to come.

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My body is still very weak, and there is too much weakness in my soul, which passionately longs for more spirituality, and more of God in Christ Jesus.

“Come, O my God, thyself reveal;

Fill all this mighty void:

Thou only canst my spirit fill:

Come, O my God, my God!”

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I ventured to preach a funeral sermon at the burial of brother Williams. He has been a very useful, laborious man, and the Lord gave him many seals to his ministry. Perhaps no one in America has been an instrument of awakening so many souls, as God has awakened by him.

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My body recovers a little health and strength. Lord, help me so to use my strength for thee, as never to provoke thee, in thy displeasure, to deprive me of either my life or my strength! Wrote to Mr. Thomas Rankin, informing him of brother Williams’s death.¹

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Preached in Portsmouth, for the first time since my illness, and the hearts of many were touched.

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My heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord. I sincerely desire to be entirely his—to spend the remnant of my days and strength altogether for God. A company of marines have been ashore at Norfolk, ransacked the printing office, and taken the printers and press with them. The inhabitants soon after embodied and got under arms. The people are also repairing the fort, which, if put in order, may sink all the ships that shall attempt to come into the harbour. But if it is thought expedient to watch and fight in defence of our bodies and property, how much more expedient is it to watch and fight against sin and Satan, in defence of our souls, which are in danger of eternal damnation! But small dangers at hand have a greater effect on fallen man, than the greatest dangers which are thought to be at a distance. But, alas! the one may be as near as the other!

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I ventured, though weak, on a small excursion into the country this week, and preached several times.

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Was greatly enlarged in preaching both at Norfolk and Portsmouth, and I venture to hope some good was done. But martial clamours confuse the land. However, my soul shall rest in God during this dark and cloudy day. He has his way in the whirlwind, and will not fail to defend his own ark.

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Satan assaults me, but cannot break my peace. My soul is stayed on the Lord, and I find great sweetness in reading the Bible, and comparing spiritual things with spiritual. Other books have too great a tendency to draw us from this, the best of books; I therefore intend to read more in this, and less in all others.

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Preached at Mr. Fulford’s, where I always find consolation in my soul: then I returned to Portsmouth, and found my spirit at liberty in preaching at night. Well may the kingdom of heaven be compared to a net, which is cast into the sea, and gathereth all, both good and bad; we had collected twenty-seven persons in our little society here, when I first came; but I have been obliged to reduce them to fourteen; and this day I put out a woman for excessive drinking. Here we see the necessity and advantage of discipline. No doubt but Satan will use all his endeavours to thrust in some who are unsound and insincere, so that they, by their ungodly conduct, may help him to bring reproach on the spiritual Church of Christ. And unless the discipline of the church is enforced, what sincere person would ever join a society, amongst whom they saw ungodliness connived at?

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Having spent several days preaching in different parts of the country, I returned to Portsmouth, and was comforted. We have a few as faithful and happy souls in this place, as perhaps in any part of Virginia; and unless Divine justice has determined destruction on these two towns, I hope the Lord will undertake for them, and increase their number.

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A painful swelling in my face prevented my preaching this morning; but it broke and gave me ease before night; so I exhorted in the evening.

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As I expect to go to Brunswick shortly, my heart rejoices in hopes of seeing good days, and many souls brought to God, in those parts. True Gospel preachers may say with the poet,—

“The love of Christ our hearts constrains,

And strengthens our unwearied hands,

We spend our sweat, and time, and pains,

To cultivate Immanuel’s lands.”

Preaching at Mr. Bruce’s to-day, some who had treated me with unkindness, were now affected and wept much at the thoughts of parting. The word went with power to the hearts of many at Mr. Harding’s on Tuesday; as it did also the next day at the widow Ivey’s;¹ where they prevailed on me to tarry all night and preach again for them on the Thursday, which I did. Here is a prospect of doing good, and a preacher is acceptable; for they have no minister in the county, except one who is occasionally hired at the extravagant rate before-mentioned. I explained something of our discipline and method of support to Mr. Pinner,² and he seemed desirous that we should go amongst them. I then went to the Northwest Woods, and preached at the funeral of a certain Mr. Manning,³ who had desired that we should perform this last office for him. Many people were present, who seemed serious, and some of them were much affected. On Friday I returned to Portsmouth.

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I feel determined, by the grace of God, to use more private prayer. And may the Lord make me more serious, more watchful, and more holy!

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There was great tenderness of heart amongst the people at Norfolk, while I enlarged on these words of our Lord, “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come unto you.” It was also an affecting time at Portsmouth while preaching from Deuteronomy 30:19.

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I am now bound for Brunswick. Some that had been displeased with my strictness in discipline, were now unwilling to let me go; but I fear they will not soon see me again, if they should even say, “Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord!” I am deficient in many things; but my conscience beareth me witness that I have been faithful to these souls, both in preaching and discipline. After taking leave of my friends, I set out for Brunswick; and having preached at Mr. Bruce’s in the way, lodged at Mrs. Williams’s.¹

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After we had passed Southampton court house,¹ we were stopped by one who had an order from the committee to examine strangers. When we had given him an account of ourselves, he treated us with great kindness, and invited us to dine with him, which we did. My body is a little fatigued, but my soul is blessed with health and vigour. Hitherto hath the Lord helped!

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By the good providence of God I entered Brunswick circuit at the house of Mr. Mason,¹ and am now within a few miles of dear brother George Shadford. God is at work in this part of the country; and my soul catches the holy fire already.

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God is my rest and my portion; my soul delighteth in him. My heart is elevated in flames of sacred fire, both in private and public prayer. “Let others stretch their arms like seas,

And grasp in all the shore:

Grant me the visits of thy face,

And I desire no more.”

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Rode about ten miles to Samuel Yeargan’s¹ chapel, and met brother George Shadford. My spirit was much united to him, and our meeting was like that of Jonathan and David. We had a large congregation, and I was much comforted amongst them.

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I moved on towards our quarterly meeting; but in fording Meherrin river, the water was so deep as almost to swim my horse and carriage. On Tuesday our quarterly meeting began, at which there might be seven hundred people. What great things hath the Lord wrought for the inhabitants of Virginia! Great numbers of them manifest a desire to seek salvation for their souls. At this meeting we admitted Francis Poythress, James Foster, and Joseph Hartley, as travelling preachers. I had great satisfaction in preaching both Tuesday and Wednesday, and was much pleased with the manner and matter of the Christians’ testimony in the love feast; having a correspondent witness of the same in my own breast.

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Spent this day profitably and comfortably with brother George Shadford. Happy are they who can open their minds freely to each other, as we have done!

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I preached at Benjamin Johnson’s,¹ and the power of the Lord was present, melting the hearts of the audience; and in class meeting both believers and penitents were all in tears. I have now a blooming prospect of usefulness, and hope both to do good and get good. My heart goes out in grateful thanksgiving and praises to God.

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Was much shackled in my ideas, and tempted against the place and people, while preaching at J. Mabry’s.¹ But on Monday I found an attentive, feeling people at I. Jay’s. The preaching appeared to be very seasonable, as the Baptists are creeping in amongst our societies in these parts. My soul possesses more and more of the Divine life and love, and is strongly bound to Jesus Christ my Lord. But still I hunger and thirst for more of the grace of God.

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Preached at Mr. Cox’s and Mr. Boisseau’s,¹ and met with a few inquisitive people. It is a just observation, that those matters which are the least disputed in religion are the most essential, and those who are the most fond of controverted trifles have the least real religion. Satan will help us to the shell, if we will be satisfied without the kernel.

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The congregation at Mr. Haye’s was but small; though I hope it was not labour in vain. The next day there was a good prospect at Mr. Featherstone’s,¹ and a class of about fifty simple, faithful souls. The word was blessed on Friday at friend Smith’s, and on Saturday I came to Samuel Yeargan’s, a serious, sensible man.

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I began and ended the day with God. I had much liberty at the chapel in discoursing on the subject matter, manner, and end of the apostles’ preaching.

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My soul is pure and peaceful; and blest with a more solid sense of God than heretofore. At V. Warren’s we had a blessing both in preaching and class meeting.

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After preaching I met with brother Isaac Luke¹ and Mr. King,² who were on their way to Portsmouth, but could not pass the guards. Lord, help thy people to redeem their time, for the days are evil! I see the necessity of living to God, and improving our present privileges.

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My soul was blessed with a delightful sense of the goodness of God this morning; and after I had preached at Warren’s, brother Robert Lindsay¹ gave an exhortation. Then rode to F. Smith’s, and went to bed with a fever on me; and in the morning felt so much pain that I thought of not going to the court house. However, I went and found a large congregation, and believe it was a profitable season. Thus we see the propriety of dragging a feeble body to duty, as far as it can bear; and if there be a willing and sincere mind, God will either give us strength for a profitable performance of duty, or accept of what we are able to do. At this time the Lord rewarded my weak endeavours with liberty, power, and consolation. So I kept on my way, and preached the next day at B. Smith’s, and on the Lord’s day at J. Mabry’s, to about four hundred souls; where one person was struck with convulsive shakings. After preaching at Lane’s,² on Monday, I met the class, but had not a satisfactory confidence in the testimony of some of the members. My own soul was in a comfortable frame, and felt a strong desire to glorify God more than ever. My mind was also strongly impressed with a desire to warn and stir up the people to work out their salvation, in these dangerous and difficult times.

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The rain detained me in the house, to hold close and sweet communion with my God. But the next day I found many collected at Mr. Boisseau’s. Here Mrs. Jarratt¹ met me, and entreated me to go into their parish. Pursued my way on Thursday to Mr. Pegram’s,² and found an unsettled society. And on Friday preached to a dry congregation at Mr. Pegram’s, and the next day went on to Petersburg. Here I was unexpectedly pleased with the sight of some of my friends from Norfolk. I preached twice in Petersburg, on the Lord’s day, and though many of the people seemed, like Gallio, to care for none of those things, yet I hope there will be some faithful souls found here.

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I am frequently-checking myself for the want of more solemnity in my conversation; but still my heart is with the Lord. “In the heavenly Lamb

Thrice happy I am,

And my heart doth rejoice at the sound of his name.”

Preached at Isaac Richardson’s,¹ on Tuesday, and rode in company with a few friends to George Booth’s, and preached in the evening. We had a melting time in preaching the next day, but especially in the class meeting. Satan still assaults me with his temptations, but the Lord is on my right hand, that I may not be moved, if I trust in him. We must expect to be tempted, as our Lord was, while we are within the reach of the fallen spirits; but it is our duty to keep ourselves that the wicked one touch us not. And if we yield in the least degree, even in desire or temper, we must expect to suffer for it.

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I saw brother John King,¹ whose heart seems to be yet in the work of God. We had a good time to-day at T. Andrews’s, both in preaching and class meeting. My soul resteth in the love of God; and all my powers are engaged to do his will. I also found my soul devoted to God in faith and prayer, the next day. And after preaching at F. Andrews’s, met the society, which consisted chiefly of penitents.

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Found a few simple souls at Mr. Ellis’s,¹ and we were comforted together. A man came to the house at night, asked for me, gave a curse, and went away.

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Rode to friend Lane’s, and preached twice in their new house, thirty feet by twenty-four. My own heart was enlarged, and many of the people were moved and melted under the word. We have about sixty persons in society here. Friend Lane, who had been ill for some time, departed from this vale of woe, full of faith, and love, and joy, about one o’clock on Monday morning. What a noble and delightful employment is ours, to be nursing immortal souls for the realms of eternal glory! And now and then we have the inexpressible comfort of seeing a soul depart in peace, triumphing over the power of death! Is there joy among the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth; and is there not joy among them over one soul that has finally escaped the snare of the devil? Doubtless there is; and we will participate of their joy. Lord, help me, in all humility and love, in all purity and faithful obedience, to devote all my days to thee; that I may finally join all the glorious company of heaven, and praise thee eternally there!

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I left my circuit, and came back to preach at friend Lane’s funeral. There were many people, and a great melting among them. But I found myself very unwell at night, through much exercise, and went to bed in a high fever. My mind was also dejected and tempted, so that I have not had such a day these six weeks. Lord, give me patience, that in the midst of all I may possess my soul!

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Was able to preach at N. Moss’s, and met with brother John King¹ and his wife, who were married yesterday. Found a happy people at Mr. Tucker’s, on Monday; and was greatly blessed with the people, on Tuesday, at Mr. Boisseau’s.

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I have now been twelve years a preacher, three years in a local capacity, and nine years in the travelling connexion; about four years and eight months in England, and about four years and four months in America.

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By a mistake of brother Glendenning’s¹ I rode twelve miles to Robert Jones’s,² and then had to ride thirteen miles more to Owens’s, and met the people at night.

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Being Christmas day, I preached from 1 Timothy 1:15: “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” My spirit was at liberty, and we were much blessed both in preaching and class meeting. Hitherto the Lord hath helped me both in soul and body, beyond my expectation. May I cheerfully do and suffer all his will, endure to the end, and be eternally saved!

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We have awful reports of slaughter at Norfolk and the Great Bridge; but I am at a happy distance from them, and my soul keeps close to Jesus Christ. And as we know not what a day may bring forth, I can say with St. Paul, “For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain.” Found a warm and lively society of about fifty souls at W. Featherstone’s, on Thursday; but the company was small at friend Smith’s, on Friday.

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Being the last day of the year, we held a watch-night at Samuel Yeargan’s chapel, beginning at six and ending at twelve o’clock. It was a profitable time, and we had much of the power of God.

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