June 7, 1784 — to His Parents

The reader is amazed to hear that Asbury had not heard from his parents in seven years. However, it is necessary to remember that the Revolutionary War had been on and that all communications had been stopped. One can more nearly imagine some of the loneliness of heart which was Asbury’s daily lot. He brings his parents up to date in this letter describing the responsibilities which are his. It is interesting to note that, in giving his reasons for being a bachelor, he refers to his affair in England, evidently with Nancy Brookes. It is evident here that he had come to the place where his life was to be dedicated to America.

PRINCE GEORGES COUNTY, MARYLAND

June 7, 1784

[TO HIS PARENTS]

My dear Parents:

It gave me some comfort to hear of you, by the kind and friendly hand of Mr. Boon, the first direct account I have received from you these seven years. My anxiety of mind would have been great for this; and my seeming disobedient absence, was I not sensible of superior obligations to my Heavenly Father, and reconciled God; to whom I go under all my exercises. I am perfectly happy in the circumstances I am under; believing the hand of the Lord has been signally displayed, in bringing me to and preserving me in America. I find the judgment of our Revd. Friend and Father, in God, Mr. Wesley, heartily concurs in my continuing here at present. What obligations are we under to that wonderful man of God! Oh how has my native land, and church, been favoured with a burning and shining light. What would thousands give, or do, could they but get him here. The esteem and influence I have among the preachers I owe much to him. We have upwards of eighty travelling preachers and near 15,000 members in society. Was I to leave America now, it would be against my own conviction that it is my duty to stay: and in this agrees the judgment of my best friends, on both sides the water.

You want to see me, I make no doubt, as I do you. My constitution is now remarkably seasoned to the country. I enjoy an uncommon share of health, under much labour of body and mind. I trust, my dear parents, you have not wanted yet. In my travels I visit the parents of preachers, and think so will others do to mine.

I sent a bill to Mr. Sause¹ of five pounds sterling, a few days ago. You should have received eleven guineas last fall, by the same hand. You should be more particular in writing to me about these temporal matters. It is true you may be both disabled for labour, and may need a larger supply than I have given, or shall give; but we must trust Providence. Some say, was I to be paid according to my labour, my salary would be great. I can tell you how it has been with me from the first entering into the Connexion. I had to provide myself with necessary clothing and books. When I came to America, the first four or five years of my being here, money was plenty. With what I received more than bought me clothing, (and I have been moderate in dress), I bought books. During the time of our late troubles, I sold my books, partly through want. My allowance from Conference is twenty four pounds currency, equal to twelve pounds sterling, (or a little more, about $60) with my travelling expenses paid. I am concerned in the selling off the remains of Mr. Wesley’s and Williams’² books. This puts money into my hands; but I know not that I can call my one coat and waistcoat, and half a dozen shirts, two horses, and a few books, my own, if the debts were paid. ‘Tis true if I were to marry a wife with a fortune, or was less liberal, I might have more money. Many things have inclined me to continue as yet in a single state. One, what once befell me in England.³ Another, my parents,—That if providence should open the way for me to come to you I may have no impediment; and that what I can save may go for your supply. Besides, my circuit is so large, not less than 700 miles in length yearly, and in circumference I know not what.

I have thought much of your coming to me, when I found I could not come to you; but here I view great difficulties. If you were to come here, you must sell all you are worth to pay the fare, to come comfortably. Where I should procure you a house and necessaries I know not. I have one friend, a great man, who would, maybe employ my father, in the way he would choose, but it is too much like Hampstead Hall.⁴ In short, I have a spirit that cannot easily bend to be dependent on any one man. I know how changeable human nature is, and how subject we are to lose the grace of God. I might add the difficulties of the sea. The climate and country might shorten your days. It would bring additional trouble on me that have enough already for my poor heart and weak head. But be assured I shall send you a supply. It might be larger; but I pass so many needy thousands in a year.

My dear Mother, live to God; press after holiness of heart; be much in prayer to the Lord. You think, “could I see my child again, I should be happy, and die in peace.” Yes, if I could stay with you; but how painful to part. I am under some thought that America will be my country for life. If I ever had any ambition to be great, it is somewhat cooled; a less publick station would be more acceptable to me. A man may be suspected of pride and folly if he wants to rule. Upon the whole, I have reason to praise God, who has kept me from publickly dishonouring him, His cause, the Connexion I am in, and the calling I am of; and to enjoy more of His power and love to my soul, that I am not puffed up nor fallen into the condemnation of the devil. What great reason I have to praise God for what is done, in, for, and by me; that a life of labour and suffering is my paradise, while love divine, transporting love, daily fills my heart. There is one thing that to me savors of human pride; and vanity, and expense (that is, to have my picture drawn) which I will have done if it would give you any satisfaction to send it to you; if it will remind you of me, and stir you up to pray that God may keep me; for there certainly never was a man of smaller abilities raised so high. I shall not wonder if some well meaning men should fear for me, this I do for myself. I have reason to bless God who hath made me, and doth make me, a center of union among preachers, and the people; and that he hath given me the hearts of both so much. But the Sons of Zurmiah⁵ will always show themselves, whether thro’ weakness or wickedness. Our last year’s conferences have been attended with great love and power and union; religion revives in the North and South of this continent. My dear Father, cry to God for grace to conquer sin. Take abundantly more care of your soul than your body. I pray for, think of, Oh that I could weep over, you more. May God restore you to his favour, and image and glory. Live in love together; ripen fast for glory; that there I may see and rejoice with you forever. If you desire my picture send the word in your next.

I am as ever, your loving, tho’ unworthy, Son,

F. ASBURY

Drew University Library