1740

I endeavored to explain to our brethren the true, Christian, Scriptural stillness, by largely unfolding those solemn words, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Wednesday, 2, I earnestly besought them all to “stand in the old paths,” and no longer to subvert one anothers souls by idle controversies, and strife of words. They all seemed convinced. We then cried to God to heal all our backslidings: And he sent forth such a spirit of peace and love, as we had not known for many months before.

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I left London, and the next evening came to Oxford: Where I spent the two following days, in looking over the letters which I had received for the sixteen or eighteen years last past. How few traces of inward religion are here! I found but one among all my correspondents who declared, (what I well remember, at that time I knew not how to understand,) that God had “shed abroad his love in his heart,” and given him the “peace that passeth all understanding.” But, who believed his report? Should I conceal a sad truth, or declare it for the profit of others? He was expelled out of his society, as a madman; and, being disowned by his friends, and despised and forsaken of all men, lived obscure and unknown for a few months, and then went to Him whom his soul loved.

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I left Oxford. In the evening I preached at Burford; the next evening at Malmsbury: And on Wednesday, 9, I once more described the “exceeding great and precious promises” at Bristol.

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I explained the former part of Hebrews 6, and many were “renewed again to repentance.” Sunday, 13, while the sacrament was administering at the house of a person that was sick in Kingswood, a woman, who had been before much tempted of the devil, sunk down as dead. One could not perceive by any motion of her breast, that she breathed; and her pulse was hardly discernible. A strange sort of dissimulation this! I would wish those who think it so, only to stop their own breath one hour, and I will then subscribe to their opinion.

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I began expounding the Scriptures in order, at the new-room, at six in the morning; by which means many more attend the College prayers (which immediately follow) than ever before. In the afternoon I preached at Downing, four miles from Bristol, on, “God hath given unto us eternal life, and this life is in his Son:” And on Tuesday, 15, at Sison, five miles from Bristol, on, “the blood” which “cleanseth us from all sin.” After preaching I visited a young man, dangerously ill, who a day or two after cried out aloud, “Lord Jesus, thou knowest that I love thee! And I have thee, and will never let thee go:” And died immediately.

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I preached at Kendalshire, six miles from Bristol, on, “Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin.” Sunday, 20, my heart was enlarged at Kingswood, in declaring, “Ye are saved through faith.” And the woman who had been so torn of the devil last week, was now made partaker of this salvation; being above measure filled with the love of God, and with all peace and joy in believing.

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I preached at Hannam, four miles from Bristol. In the evening I made a collection in our congregation for the relief of the poor, without Lawford’s Gate; who having no work, (because of the severe frost,) and no assistance from the parish wherein they lived, were reduced to the last extremity. I made another collection on Thursday; and a third on Sunday; by which we were enabled to feed a hundred, sometimes a hundred and fifty, a day, of those whom we found to need it most.

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I preached at Bridge-Gate, six miles from Bristol: Thursday, 24, at Westerleigh, eight miles from thence. In the evening, at the new room, I expounded Exodus 14. And we found that God’s arm is not shortened, and rejoiced before him with reverence. I was a little surprised, in going out of the room, at one who catched hold of me, and said abruptly, “I must speak with you, and will. I have sinned against light and against love. I have sinned beyond forgiveness. I have been cursing you in my heart, and blaspheming God ever since I came here. I am damned; I know it; I feel it; I am in hell; I have hell in my heart.” I desired two or three, who had confidence in God, to join in crying to him on her behalf. Immediately that horrid dread was taken away, and she began to see some dawnings of hope.

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Another was with me, who after having tasted the heavenly gift, was fallen into the depth of despair. But it was not long before God heard the prayer, and restored to her the light of his countenance. One came to me in the evening, to know if a man could not be saved without the faith of assurance. I answered,

“1. I cannot approve of your terms, because they are not scriptural. I find no such phrase as either ‘faith of assurance’ or ‘faith of adherence’ in the Bible. Besides, you speak as if there were two faiths in one Lord. Whereas, St. Paul tells us, there is but one faith in one Lord.

2. By ‘Ye are saved by faith,’ I understand, ye are saved from your inward and outward sins.

3. I never yet knew one soul thus saved without what you call ‘the faith of assurance;’ I mean a sure confidence, that, by the merits of Christ, he was reconciled to the favor of God.”

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I was strongly convinced, that if we asked of God, he would give light to all those that were in darkness. About noon we had a proof of it: One that was weary and heavy-laden, upon prayer made for her, soon finding rest to her soul. In the afternoon we had a second proof, — another mourner being speedily comforted. M——y D——n was a third, who about five o’clock began again to rejoice in God her Savior: As did M—— y H——y, about the same hour, after a long night of doubts and fears.

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I went to one in Kingswood who was dangerously ill; as was supposed, past recovery. But she was strong in the Lord, longing to be dissolved and to be with Christ. Some of her words were, “I was long striving to come to my Savior, and I then thought he was afar off; but now I know he was nigh me all that time: I know his arms were round me; for his arms are like the rainbow, they go round heaven and earth.” I had now determined, if it should please God, to spend some time in Bristol. But quite contrary to my expectation, I was called away, in a manner I could not resist. A young man, who had no thoughts of religion, had come to Bristol a few months before. One of his acquaintance brought him to me; he approved of what he heard, and for a while behaved well; but soon after, his seriousness wore off; he returned to London, and fell in with his old acquaintance: By some of these he was induced to commit a robbery on the highway; for which he was apprehended, tried, and condemned. He had now a strong desire to speak with me; and some of his words (in a letter to his friend) were, “I adjure him, by the living God, that he come and see me before I go hence.”

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I set out, and on Sunday, 3, declared the grace of God at Newbury, from those words of the Prophet, “I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely.” And though the church was full of (chiefly) genteel, well-dressed people, they behaved as if they knew God was there.

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I came to Reading, and met with a few still hungering and thirsting after righteousness. A few more I found at Windsor in the evening. The next afternoon I reached London.

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I went to the poor young man who lay under sentence of death. Of a truth God has begun a good work in his soul. O may it be brought to perfection!

I think it was the next time I was there, that the Ordinary of Newgate came to me, and with much vehemence told me, he was sorry I should turn Dissenter from the Church of England. I told him, if it was so, I did not know it: At which he seemed a little surprised; and offered at something by way of proof, but which needed not a reply.

Our twentieth Article defines a true Church, “a congregation of faithful people, wherein the true word of God is preached, and the sacraments duly administered.” According to this account, the Church of England is that body of faithful people (or holy believers) in England, among whom the pure word of God is preached, and the sacraments duly administered. Who then are the worst Dissenters from this Church?

1. Unholy men of all kinds; swearers, Sabbath-breakers, drunkards, fighters, whoremongers, liars, revilers, evil-speakers; the passionate, the gay, the lovers of money, the lovers of dress, or of praise, the lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God: All these are Dissenters of the highest sort, continually striking at the root of the Church; and themselves belonging in truth to no Church, but to the synagogue of Satan.

2. Men unsound in the faith; those who deny the Scriptures of truth; those who deny the Lord that bought them; those who deny justification by faith alone, or the present salvation which is by faith; these also are Dissenters of a very high kind: For they likewise strike at the foundation; and were their principles universally to obtain, there could be no true Church upon earth. Lastly, Those who unduly administer the sacraments; who (to instance but in one point) administer the Lord’s Supper to such as have neither the power nor the form of godliness. These, too, are gross Dissenters from the Church of England, and should not cast the first stone at others.

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The young man who was to die the next day gave me a paper, part of which was as follows: —

“As I am to answer to the God of justice and truth, before whom I am to appear naked tomorrow,

“I came to Bristol with a design to go abroad, either as a surgeon or in any other capacity that was suiting. It was there that I unfortunately saw Mr. Ramsey. He told me, after one or two interviews, that he was in the service of Mr. John Wesley; and that he would introduce me to him, which he did. I cannot but say, I was always fond of the doctrine that I heard from him: However, unhappily I consented with Mr. Ramsey, and I believe between us we might take more than thirty pounds out of the money collected for building the school in Kingswood.

“I acknowledge the justice of God in overtaking me for my sacrilege, in taking that money which was devoted to God. But he, I trust, has forgiven me this and all my sins, washing them away in the blood of the Lamb.

“Feb. 12, 1739-40. GWILLAM SNOWDE.”

I knew not in the morning whether to rejoice or grieve, when they informed me he was reprieved for six weeks; and afterwards, that he was ordered for transportation. But known unto God are all his works!

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I explained at Deptford the nature of Christian faith and salvation. Many seemed to receive the word with joy. Others complained, “Thou bringest strange things to our ears;” though some of them had not patience to hear what this new doctrine was.

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I had a long conference with those whom I esteem very highly in love. But I could not yet understand them on one point, — Christian openness and plainness of speech. They pleaded for such a reservedness and closeness of conversation as I could in no wise reconcile with St. Paul’s direction, “By manifestation of the truth” to commend “ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.” Yet I scarce knew what to think, considering they had the practice of their whole Church on their side: Till I opened my Testament on these words, “What is that to thee? Follow thou me.”

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Complaint was made again, (as indeed had been done before, and that not once or twice only,) that many of our brethren, not content with leaving off the ordinances of God themselves, were continually troubling those that did not, and disputing with them, whether they would or no. The same complaint was made the next night also, at the meeting of the society. I then plainly set before them the things they had done, expostulated the case with them, and earnestly besought them not to trouble or perplex the minds of their brethren any more; but at least to excuse those who still waited for God in the ways of his own appointment.

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Many that were in heaviness being, met together, we cried to God to comfort their souls. One of these soon found that God heareth the prayer. She had before been under the physician’s hands; her relations taking it for granted she was “beside herself.” But the Great Physician alone knew how to heal her sickness.

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I rode by Windsor to Reading, where I had left two or three full of peace and love. But I now found some from London had been here, grievously troubling these souls also; laboring to persuade them,

1. That they had no faith at all, because they sometimes felt doubt or fear. And,

2. That they ought to be still; not to go to church, not to communicate, not to search the Scriptures: “Because,” say they, “you cannot do any of these things without trusting in them.”

After confirming their souls we left Reading, and on Wednesday, 5, came to Bristol. It was easy to observe here, in how different a manner God works now, from what he did last spring.

He then poured along like a rapid flood, overwhelming all before him. Whereas now, He begins his influence to infuse, Secret, refreshing as the silent dews.

Convictions sink deeper and deeper. Love and joy are more calm, even, and steady. And God, in many, is laying the axe to the root of the tree, who can have no rest in their spirits till they are fully renewed in the image of God, in righteousness and true holiness.

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I found a little time (having been much importuned) to spend with the soldier in Bridewell, who was under sentence of death. This I continued to do once a day; whereby there was also an opportunity of declaring the Gospel of peace to several desolate ones that were confined in the same place.

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In the evening, just after I had explained, as they came in course, those comfortable words of God to St. Paul, “Be not afraid; but speak, and hold not thy peace: For I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city,” — a person spoke aloud in the middle of the room, “Sir, I am come to give you notice, that, at the next Quarter Sessions, you will be prosecuted for holding a seditious conventicle.”

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The morning exposition began at five, as I hope it will always for the time to come. Thursday, 27, I had an interview with Joseph Chandler, a young Quaker, who had sometimes spoke in their meeting, with whom I had never exchanged a word before; as indeed I knew him not either by face or name. But some had been at the pains of carrying him, as from me, a formal challenge to dispute; and had afterwards told him that I had declared, in the open society, I challenged Joseph Chandler to dispute; and he promised to come, but broke his word. Joseph immediately sent to know, from my own mouth, if these things were so. If those who probably count themselves better Christians had but done like this honest Quaker, how many idle tales, which they now potentially believe, would, like this, have vanished into air!

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From these words, “Then was Jesus led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil,” I took occasion to describe that wilderness state, that state of doubts, and fears, and strong temptation, which so many go through, though in different degrees, after they have received remission of sins.

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I spent another hour with one I had twice conversed with before; and with much the same effect. He asked wherein the doctrine I preach differed from the doctrine preached by other Ministers of the Church. I told him, “I hope not at all from that which is preached by many other Ministers. But from that which is preached by some, it differs thus: I preach the doctrine of the Church, and they do not.” After he had long and zealously labored to prove, that all Ministers preached as I did, and there was no difference of doctrine at all; I was obliged to leave him abruptly; and should indeed have feared, that my time had been spent to small purpose, but for one piece of history which I then learned, viz., that he had gone to the Bishop, before his Lordship left Bristol, and informed him that I said in the public congregation, I had had a conference with the Bishop and twelve Clergymen, and had put them all to silence. Was his Lordship so informed? And could he believe even this? O Joseph Chandler, Joseph Chandler!

I think it was about this time, that the soldier was executed. For some time I had visited him everyday. But when the love of God was shed abroad in his heart, I told him, “Do not expect to see me any more. He who has now begun a good work in your soul, will, I doubt not, preserve you to the end. But I believe Satan will separate us for a season.” Accordingly, the next day, I was informed that the commanding officer had given strict orders, neither Mr. Wesley, nor any of his people, should be admitted; for they were all Atheists. But did that man die like an Atheist? Let my last end be like his!

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While I was expounding the former part of the twenty-third chapter of the Acts, (how wonderfully suited to the occasion! though not by my choice,) the floods began to lift up their voice. Some or other of the children of Belial had labored to disturb us several nights before: But now it seemed as if all the host of the aliens were come together with one consent. Not only the court and the alleys, but all the street, upwards and downwards, was filled with people, shouting, cursing and swearing, and ready to swallow the ground with fierceness and rage. The Mayor sent order, that they should disperse. But they set him at naught. The chief Constable came next in person, who was, till then, sufficiently prejudiced against us. But they insulted him also in so gross a manner, as, I believe, fully opened his eyes. At length the Mayor sent several of his officers, who took the ringleaders into custody, and did not go till all the rest were dispersed. Surely he hath been to us “the minister of God for good.”

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The rioters were brought up to the Court, the Quarter Sessions being holden that day. They began to excuse themselves by saying many things of me. But the Mayor cut them all short, saying, “What Mr. Wesley is, is nothing to you. I will keep the peace: I will have no rioting in this city.”

Calling at Newgate in the afternoon, I was informed that the poor wretches under sentence of death were earnestly desirous to speak with me; but that it could not be; Alderman Beecher having just then sent an express order that they should not. I cite Alderman Beecher to answer for these souls at the judgment-seat of Christ.

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I went into the room, weak and faint. The scripture that came in course was, “After the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers.” I know not, whether God hath been so with us from the beginning hitherto: He proclaimed, as it were, a general deliverance to the captives. The chains fell off: They arose and followed Him. The cries of desire, joy, and love were on every side. Fear, sorrow, and doubt fled away. Verily thou hast “sent a gracious rain upon thine inheritance, and refreshed it when it was weary.”

On Good-Friday I was much comforted by Mr. T——’s sermon at All-Saints, which was according to the truth of the Gospel; as well as by the affectionate seriousness wherewith he delivered the holy bread to a very large congregation. May the good Lord fill him with all the life of love, and with all “spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus.” At five, preaching on John 19:34, “A soldier pierced his side, and there came forth blood and water;” I was enabled to speak strong words, both concerning the atoning blood, and the living sanctifying water. Many were deeply convinced of their want of both; and others filled with strong consolation.

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At the pressing instance of Howel Harris, I again set out for Wales. In the evening I preached “repentance and remission of sins,” at Lanvachas, three miles from the New-Passage. Tuesday, 8, I preached at Ponty-Pool, on, “By grace ye are saved, through faith:” And in the evening at Lanhithel, three miles from thence, on, “I know that in me dwelleth no good thing.”

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After reading prayers in Lanhithel church, I preached on those words, “I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely.” In the afternoon Howel Harris told me how earnestly many had labored to prejudice him against me; especially those who had gleaned up all the idle stories at Bristol, and retailed them in their own country. And yet these are good Christians! These whisperers, tale-bearers, backbiters, evil-speakers! Just such Christians as murderers or adulterers. “Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”

In the evening I expounded, at Cardiff, the story of the Pharisee and Publican. The next day, Thursday, 10, after preaching thrice, I rode to Watford, five miles from Cardiff, where a few of us joined together in prayer, and in provoking one another to love and to good works.

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I preached in Lantarnum church, on, “By grace ye are saved, through faith.” In the afternoon I preached at Penreul, near Ponty-Pool. A few were cut to the heart, particularly Mrs. A——d, who had some time before given me up for a Papist; Mr. E——s, the Curate, having averred me to be such, upon his personal knowledge, at her house in Ponty-Pool. I afterwards called, “O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord:” And there was a shaking indeed. Three or four came to me in such mourning as I had scarcely seen; as did a poor drunkard, between eleven and twelve, who was convinced by the word spoken on Tuesday.

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After preaching at Lanvachas in the way, in the afternoon I came to Bristol, and heard the melancholy news, that, one of the chief of those who came to make the disturbance on the 1st instant, had hanged himself. He was cut down, it seems, alive; but died in less than an hour. A second of them had been for some days in strong pain; and had many times sent to desire our prayers. A third came to me himself, and confessed, he was hired that night, and made drunk on purpose; but when he came to the door, he knew not what was the matter, he could not stir, nor open his mouth.

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I was explaining the “liberty” we have “to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,” when one cried out, as in an agony, “Thou art a hypocrite, a devil, an enemy to the Church. This is false doctrine. It is not the doctrine of the Church. It is damnable doctrine. It is the doctrine of devils.” I did not perceive that any were hurt thereby; but rather strengthened, by having such an opportunity of confirming their love toward him, and returning good for evil.

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I received the following note: —

“SIR, — This is to let you understand, that the man which made the noise last night is named John Beon. He now goes by the name of John Darsy. He is a Romish Priest. We have people enough here in Bristol that know him.”

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I received a letter from Mr. Simpson, and another from Mr. William Oxlee, informing me that our poor brethren in Fetter-Lane were again in great confusion; and earnestly desiring that, if it were possible, I would come to London without delay.

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I set out, and the next evening reached London. Wednesday, 23, I went to Mr. Simpson. He told me, all the confusion was owing to my brother, who would preach up the ordinances: “Whereas believers,” said he, “are not subject to ordinances; and unbelievers have nothing to do with them: They ought to be still; otherwise, they will be unbelievers all the days of their life.”

After a fruitless dispute of about two hours, I returned home with a heavy heart. Mr. Molther was taken ill this day. I believe it was the hand of God that was upon him. In the evening our society met; but cold, weary, heartless, dead. I found nothing of brotherly love among them now; but a harsh, dry, heavy, stupid spirit. For two hours they looked one at another, when they looked up at all, as if one half of them was afraid of the other; yea, as if a voice were sounding in their ears, “Take ye heed every one of his neighbor: Trust ye not in any brother: For every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbor will walk with slanders.”

I think not so few as thirty persons spoke to me in these two days, who had been strongly solicited,

1. To deny what God had done for their souls; to own they never had living faith.

2. To be still till they had it; to leave off all the means of grace; not to go to church; not to communicate; not to search the Scripture; not to use private prayer; at least, not so much, or not vocally, or not at any stated times.

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My brother and I went to Mr. Molther again, and spent two hours in conversation with him. He now also explicitly affirmed,

1. That there are no degrees in faith; that none has any faith who has ever any doubt or fear; and that none is justified till he has a clean heart, with the perpetual indwelling of Christ, and of the Holy Ghost; and,

2. That every one who has not this, ought, till he has it, to be still: That is, as he explained it, not to use the ordinances, or means of grace, so called.

He also expressly asserted,

1. That to those who have a clean heart, the ordinances are not a matter of duty. They are not commanded to use them: They are free: They may use them, or they may not.

2. That those who have not a clean heart, ought not to use them; (particularly not to communicate;) because God neither commands nor designs they should; (commanding them to none, designing them only for believers;) and because they are not means of grace; there being no such thing as means of grace, but Christ only.

Ten or twelve persons spoke to me this day also, and many more the day following, who had been greatly troubled by this new gospel, and thrown into the utmost heaviness; and, indeed, wherever I went, I found more and more proofs of the grievous confusion it had occasioned; many coming to me day by day, who were once full of peace and love; but were now again plunged into doubts and fears, and driven even to their wit’s end. I was now utterly at a loss what course to take; finding no rest for the sole of my foot. These “vain janglings” pursued me wherever I went, and were always sounding in my ears. — Wednesday, 30, I went to my friend, (that was!) Mr. St——, at Islington. But he also immediately entered upon the subject, telling me, now he was fully assured, that no one has any degree of faith till he is perfect as God is perfect. I asked, “Have you then no degree of faith?” He said, “No; for I have not a clean heart.” I turned and asked his servant, “Esther, have you a clean heart?” She said, “No; my heart is desperately wicked: But I have no doubt or fear. I know my Savior loves me; and I love him: I feel it every moment.” I then plainly told her master, “Here is an end of your reasoning. This is the state, the existence of which you deny.”

Thence I went to the little society here, which had stood untainted from the beginning. But the plague was now spread to them also. One of them, who had been long full of joy in believing, now denied she had any faith at all; and said, till she had, she would communicate no more. Another, who said, she had the “faith that overcometh the world,” added, she had not communicated for some weeks; and it was all one to her whether she did or no; for a believer was not subject to ordinances.

In the evening, one of the first things started at Fetter-Lane was, the question concerning the ordinances. But I entreated we might not be always disputing; but rather give ourselves unto prayer. I endeavored all this time, both by explaining in public those scriptures which had been misunderstood, and by private conversation, to bring back those who had been led out of the way; and having now delivered my own soul, on Friday, MAY 2, I left London; and lying at Hungerford that night, the next evening came to Bristol.

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I preached in the morning at the school, and in the afternoon at Rose Green, on, “I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.”

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I expounded those words, “I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you:” And described the state of those who have forgiveness of sins, but have not yet a clean heart.

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I prayed with a poor helpless sinner, who had been “all his lifetime subject to bondage.” But our Lord now proclaimed deliverance to the captive, and he rejoiced with joy unspeakable. All the next day his mouth was filled with praise, and on Friday he fell asleep.

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I was greatly refreshed by conversing with several, who were indeed as little children, not artful, not wise in their own eyes, not doting on controversy and “strife of words,” but truly “determined to know nothing save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.”

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I was a little surprised at some, who were buffeted of Satan in an unusual manner, by such a spirit of laughter as they could in no wise resist, though it was pain and grief unto them. I could scarce have believed the account they gave me, had I not known the same thing ten or eleven years ago. Part of Sunday my brother and I then used to spend in walking in the meadows and singing psalms. But one day, just as we were beginning to sing, he burst out into a loud laughter. I asked him; if he was distracted; and began to be very angry, and presently after to laugh as loud as he. Nor could we possibly refrain, though we were ready to tear ourselves in pieces, but we were forced to go home without singing another line.

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In the evening I went to Upton, a little town five or six miles from Bristol, and offered to all those who had ears to hear, “repentance and remission of sins.” The devil knew his kingdom shook, and therefore stirred up his servants to ring bells, and make all the noise they could. But my voice prevailed, so that most of those that were present heard “the word which is able to save their souls.”

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I visited one of our colliers, who was ill of the small-pox. His soul was full of peace, and a day or two after, returned to God that gave it.

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I found more and more undeniable proofs, that the Christian state is a continual warfare; and that we have need every moment to “watch and pray, lest we enter into temptation.” Outward trials indeed were now removed, and peace was in all our borders. But so much the more did inward trials abound; and “if one member suffered, all the members suffered with it.” So strange a sympathy did I never observe before: Whatever considerable temptation fell on any one, unaccountably spreading itself to the rest, so that exceeding few were able to escape it.

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I endeavored to explain those important words of St. Peter, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as if some strange thing happened unto you.” Μη ξενιζεσθε τῃ εν υμιν πυρωσει προς πειρασμον υμιν γινομενῃ, literally, “Marvel not at the burning in you which is for your trial.”

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In the evening, such a spirit of laughter was among us, that many were much offended. But the attention of all was fixed on poor L— —a S——, whom we all knew to be no dissembler. One so violently and variously torn of the evil one did I never see before. Sometimes she laughed till almost strangled; then broke out into cursing and blaspheming; then stamped and struggled with incredible strength, so that four or five could scarce hold her: Then cried out, “O eternity, eternity! O that I had no soul! O that I had never been born!” At last she faintly called on Christ to help her. And the violence of her pangs ceased.

Most of our brethren and sisters were now fully convinced that those who were under this strange temptation could not help it. Only E——th B—— and Anne H——n were of another mind; being still sure, any one might help laughing if she would. This they declared to many on Thursday; but on Friday, 23, God suffered Satan to teach them better. Both of them were suddenly seized in the same manner as the rest, and laughed whether they would or no, almost without ceasing. Thus they continued for two days, a spectacle to all; and were then, upon prayer made for them, delivered in a moment.

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S——a Ha——g, after she had calmly rejoiced several days, in the midst of violent pain, found at once a return of ease, and health, and strength; and arose and went to her common business.

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I explained “the rest which remaineth for the people of God,” in the morning at Kingswood-school, and in the evening at Rose-Green, to six or seven thousand people. I afterwards exhorted our society, (the time being come that I was to leave them for a season,) to “pray always,” that they might not faint in their minds, though they were “wrestling not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, and powers, and spiritual wickedness in high places.”

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I left Bristol, and rode by Avon and Malmsbury (where I preached in the evening) to Oxford. Two or three even here had not yet been persuaded to cast away their confidence: One of whom was still full of her first love, which she had received at the Lord’s table.

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I came to London; where, finding a general temptation prevail, of leaving off good works, in order to an increase of faith, I began on Friday, 6, to expound the Epistle of St. James, the great antidote against this poison. I then went to Mr. S—— once again, to try if we could yet come to any agreement: But O, what an interview was there! He seriously told me, he was going to sell his living; only the purchaser did not seem quite willing to come up to his price. He would fain have proved to me the lawfulness of doing this; and in order thereto he averred roundly,

1. That no honest man can officiate as a Minister in the Church of England.

2. That no man can, with a good conscience, join in the Prayers of the Church; “because,” said he, “they are all full of horrid lies.”

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A woman came to me from Deptford, sent (as she said) from God. I gave her the hearing: And she spoke great words and true. But I remembered, “Judge nothing before the time.”

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I went with Mr. Ingham to Islington, purposely to talk with Mr. Molther. But they said, he was so ill, he could not be spoken to. In the evening I went to Fetter-Lane, and plainly told our poor, confused, shattered society, wherein they had erred from the faith. It was as I feared: They could not receive my saying. However, I am clear from the blood of these men.

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A great part of our society joined with us in prayer, and kept, I trust, an acceptable fast unto the Lord.

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My brother set out for Bristol. At six I preached in Mary-le-bone-Fields, (much against my will, but I believed it was the will of God,) “repentance and remission of sins.” All were quiet, and the far greater part of the hearers seemed deeply attentive. Thence I went to our own society of Fetter-Lane: Before whom Mr. Ingham (being to leave London on the morrow) bore a noble testimony for the ordinances of God, and the reality of weak faith. But the short answer was, “You are blind, and speak of the things you know not.”

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We discovered another snare of the devil. The woman of Deptford had spoke plain to Mr. Humphreys, ordering him not to preach, to leave off doing good, and, in a word, to be still. We talked largely with her, and she was humbled in the dust, under a deep sense of the advantage Satan had gained over her.

In the evening Mr. Acourt complained, that Mr. Nowers had hindered his going into our society. Mr. Nowers answered, “It was by Mr. C. Wesley’s order.” “What,” said Mr. Acourt, “do you refuse admitting a person into your society, only because he differs from you in opinion?” I answered, “No; but what opinion do you mean?” He said, “That of election. I hold, a certain number is elected from eternity. And these must and shall be saved. And the rest of mankind must and shall be damned. And many of your society hold the same.” I replied, “I never asked whether they hold it or no. Only let them not trouble others by disputing about it.” He said, “Nay, but I will dispute about it.” “What, wherever you come?” “Yes, wherever I come.” “Why then would you come among us, who you know are of another mind?” “Because you are all wrong, and I am resolved to set you all right.” “I fear your coming with this view would neither profit you nor us.” He concluded, “Then I will go and tell all the world, that you and your brother are false prophets. And I tell you, in one fortnight, you will all be in confusion.”

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I mentioned this to our society, and, without entering into the controversy, besought all of them who were weak in the faith, not to “receive one another to doubtful disputations;” but simply to follow after holiness, and the things that make for peace.

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Finding there was no time to delay, without utterly destroying the cause of God, I began to execute what I had long designed, — to strike at the root of the grand delusion. Accordingly, from those words of Jeremiah, “Stand ye in the way, ask for the old paths,” I took occasion to give a plain account, both of the work which God had begun among us, and of the manner wherein the enemy had sown his tares among the good seed, to this effect: —

“After we had wandered many years in the new path, of salvation by faith and works; about two years ago it pleased God to show us the old way, of salvation by faith only. And many soon tasted of this salvation, ‘being justified freely, having peace with God, rejoicing in hope of the glory of God,’ and having his ‘love shed abroad in their hearts.’ These now ran the way of his commandments: They performed all their duty to God and man. They walked in all the ordinances of the Lord; and through these means, which he had appointed for that end, received daily grace to help in time of need, and went on from faith to faith. “But, eight or nine months ago, certain men arose, speaking contrary to the doctrines we had received. They affirmed, that we were all in a wrong way still; that we had no faith at all; that faith admits of no degrees, and consequently weak faith is no faith; that none is justified till he has a clean heart, and is incapable of any doubt or fear.

“They affirmed also, that there is no commandment in the New Testament, but ‘to believe;’ that no other duty lies upon us; and that when a man does believe, he is not bound or obliged to do any thing which is commanded there: In particular, that he is not subject to ordinances, that is, (as they explained it,) is not bound or obliged to pray, to communicate, to read or hear the Scriptures; but may or may not use any of these things, (being in no bondage,) according as he finds his heart free to it.

“They farther affirmed, that a believer cannot use any of these as a means of grace; that indeed there is no such thing as any means of grace, this expression having no foundation in Scripture: And that an unbeliever, or one who has not a clean heart, ought not to use them at all; ought not to pray, or search the Scriptures, or communicate, but to ‘be still,’ that is, leave off these ‘works of the law;’ and then he will surely receive faith, which, till he is still, he cannot have.

“All these assertions I propose to consider. The first was, that weak faith is no faith.

“By weak faith I understand,

1. That which is mixed with fear, particularly of not enduring to the end.

2. That which is mixed with doubt, whether we have not deceived ourselves, and whether our sins be indeed forgiven.

3. That which has not yet purified the heart fully, not from all its idols.

And thus weak I find the faith of almost all believers to be, within a short time after they have first peace with God.

“Yet that weak faith is faith appears,

1. From St. Paul, ‘Him that is weak in faith, receive.’

2. From St. John, speaking of believers who were little children, as well as of young men and fathers.

3. From our Lord’s own words, ‘Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? — I have prayed for thee, (Peter,) that thy faith fail thee not.’ Therefore he then had faith.

Yet so weak was that faith, that not only doubt and fear, but gross sin in the same night prevailed over him.

“Nevertheless he was ‘clean, by the word’ Christ had ‘spoken to him;’ that is, justified; though it is plain he had not a clean heart. “Therefore, there are degrees in faith; and weak faith may yet be true faith.”

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I considered the second assertion, that there is but one commandment in the New Testament, viz., “to believe:” That no other duty lies upon us, and that a believer is not obliged to do any thing as commanded.

“How gross, palpable a contradiction is this, to the whole tenor of the New Testament! every part of which is full of commandments, from St. Matthew to the Revelation! But it is enough to observe,

1. That this bold affirmation is shamelessly contrary to our Lord’s own words, ‘Whosoever shall break one of the least of these commandments, shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:’ For nothing can be more evident, than that he here speaks of more than one, of several commandments, which every soul, believer or not, is obliged to keep as commanded.

2. That this whole scheme is overturned from top to bottom, by that other sentence of our Lord, ‘When ye have done all that is commanded you, say, We have done no more than it was our duty to do.’

3. That although to do what God commands us is a believer’s privilege, that does not affect the question. He does it nevertheless, as his bounden duty, and as a command of God.

4. That this is the surest evidence of his believing, according to our Lord’s own words, ‘If ye love me, (which cannot be unless ye believe,)’ keep my commandments.’

5. at to desire to do what God commands, but not as a command, is to affect, not freedom, but independency. Such independency as St. Paul had not; for though the Son had made him free, yet was he not without law to God, but under the law to Christ: Such as the holy angels have not; for they fulfill his commandments, and hearken to the voice of his words: Yea, such as Christ himself had not; for ‘as the Father’ had given him ‘commandment,’ so he ‘spake.’”

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The substance of my exposition in the morning, on, “Why yet are ye subject to ordinances?” was,

“From hence it has been inferred, that Christians are not subject to the ordinances of Christ; that believers need not, and unbelievers may not, use them; that these are not obliged, and those are not permitted, so to do; that these do not sin when they abstain from them; but those do sin when they do not abstain.

“But with how little reason this has been inferred, will sufficiently appear to all who consider,

“1. That the ordinances here spoken of by St. Paul are evidently Jewish ordinances; such as, ‘Touch not, taste not, handle not;’ and those, mentioned a few verses before, concerning meats and drinks, and new moons, and Sabbaths.

2. That, consequently, this has no reference to the ordinances of Christ; such as, prayer, communicating, and searching the Scriptures.

3. That Christ himself spake, that ‘men’ ought ‘always to pray;’ and commands, ‘not to forsake the assembling ourselves together;’ to search the Scriptures, and to eat bread and drink wine, in remembrance of him.

4. That the commands of Christ oblige all who are called by his name, whether (in strictness) believers or unbelievers; seeing ‘whosoever breaketh the least of these commandments, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven.’”

In the evening I preached on, “Cast not away your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward.”

“Ye who have known and felt your sins forgiven, cast not away your confidence,

1. Though your joy should die away, your love wax cold, and your peace itself be roughly assaulted: Though,

2. You should find doubt or fear, or strong and uninterrupted temptation; yea, though,

3. You should find a body of sin still in you, and thrusting sore at you that you might fall.

“The first case may be only a fulfilling of your Lord’s words, ‘Yet a little while, and ye shall not see me.’ But he ‘will come unto you again, and your hearts shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.’ “Your being in strong temptation, yea, though it should rise so high as to throw you into an agony, or to make you fear that God had forgotten you, is no more a proof that you are not a believer, than our Lord’s agony, and his crying, ‘My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ was a proof that he was not the Son of God.

“Your finding sin remaining in you still, is no proof that you are not a believer. Sin does remain in one that is justified, though it has not dominion over him. For he has not a clean heart at first, neither are ‘all things’ as yet ‘become new.’ But fear not, though you have an evil heart. Yet a little while, and you shall be endued with power from on high, whereby you may ‘purify yourselves, even as He is pure;’ and be ‘holy, as He which hath called you is holy.’”

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From those words, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God,” I took occasion to speak of the ordinances of God, as they are means of grace.

“Although this expression of our Church, ‘means of grace,’ be not found in Scripture; yet, if the sense of it undeniably is, to cavil at the term is a mere strife of words.

“But the sense of it is undeniably found in Scripture. For God hath in Scripture ordained prayer, reading or hearing, and the receiving the Lord’s Supper, as the ordinary means of conveying his grace to man. And first, prayer. For thus saith the Lord, ‘Ask, and it shall be given you. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.’ Here God plainly ordains prayer as the means of receiving whatsoever grace we want; particularly that wisdom from above, which is the chief fruit of the grace of God. “Here, likewise, God commands all to pray, who desire to receive any grace from him. Here is no restriction as to believers or unbelievers; but, least of all, as to unbelievers: For such, doubtless, were most of those to whom he said, ‘Ask, and it shall be given you.’

“We know, indeed, that the prayer of an unbeliever is full of sin. Yet let him remember that which is written of one who could not then believe, for he had not so much as heard the Gospel, ‘Cornelius, thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God.’”

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I showed, concerning the Holy Scriptures,

1. That to search, (that is, read and hear them,) is a command of God.

2. That this command is given to all, believers or unbelievers.

3. That this is commanded or ordained as a means of grace, a means of conveying the grace of God to all, whether unbelievers (such as those to whom he first gave this command, and those to whom faith cometh by hearing) or believers, who by experience know, that “all Scripture is profitable,” or a means to this end, “that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished to all good works.”

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I preached on, “Do this in remembrance of me.” “In the ancient Church, every one who was baptized communicated daily. So in the Acts we read, they ‘all continued daily in the breaking of bread, and in prayer.’

“But in latter times, many have affirmed, that the Lord’s Supper is not a converting, but a confirming ordinance.

“And among us it has been diligently taught, that none but those who are converted, who have received the Holy Ghost, who are believers in the full sense, ought to communicate.

“But experience shows the gross falsehood of that assertion, that the Lord’s Supper is not a converting ordinance. Ye are the witnesses. For many now present know, the very beginning of your conversion to God (perhaps, in some, the first deep conviction) was wrought at the Lord’s Supper. Now, one single instance of this kind overthrows the whole assertion.

“The falsehood of the other assertion appears both from Scripture precept and example. Our Lord commanded those very men who were then unconverted, who had not set received the Holy Ghost, who (in the full sense of the word) were not believers, to do this ‘in remembrance of’ him. Here the precept is clear. And to these he delivered the elements with his own hands. Here is example equally indisputable.”

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I showed at large,

1. That the Lord’s Supper was ordained by God, to be a means of conveying to men either preventing, or justifying, or sanctifying grace, according to their several necessities.

2. That the persons for whom it was ordained, are all those who know and feel that they want the grace of God, either to restrain them from sin, or to show their sins forgiven, or to renew their souls in the image of God.

3. That inasmuch as we come to his table, not to give him any thing, but to receive whatsoever he sees best for us, there is no previous preparation indispensably necessary, but a desire to receive whatsoever he pleases to give. And,

4. That no fitness is required at the time of communicating, but a sense of our state, of our utter sinfulness and helplessness; every one who knows he is fit for hell, being just fit to come to Christ, in this as well as all other ways of his appointment.

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I preached in the morning at Moorfields, and in the evening at Kennington, on Titus 3:8, and endeavored at both places to explain and enforce the Apostle’s direction, that those “who have believed, be careful to maintain good works.” The works I particularly mentioned were, praying, communicating, searching the Scriptures; feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, assisting the stranger, and visiting or relieving those that are sick or in prison. Several of our brethren, of Fetter-Lane, being met in the evening, Mr. Simpson told them I had been preaching up the works of the law; “which,” added Mr. V——, “we believers are no more bound to obey, than the subjects of the King of England are bound to obey the laws of the King of France.”

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I went to the society; but I found their hearts were quite estranged. Friday, 4. I met a little handful of them, who still stand in the old paths; but how long they may stand God knoweth, the rest being continually pressing upon them. Wednesday, 9. I came to an explanation once more with them all together; but with no effect at all. Tuesday, 15. We had yet another conference at large, but in vain; for all continued in their own opinions.

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One desired me to look into an old book, and give her my judgment of it: Particularly of what was added at the latter end. This, I found, was, “The Mystic Divinity of Dionysius;” and several extracts nearly allied thereto, full of the same “super-essential darkness.” I borrowed the book, and going in the evening to Fetter-Lane, read one of those extracts, to this effect: —

“The Scriptures are good; prayer is good; communicating is good; relieving our neighbor is good; but to one who is not born of God, none of these is good, but all very evil. For him to read the Scriptures, or to pray, or to communicate, or to do any outward work, is deadly poison. First, let him be born of God. Till then let him not do any of these things. For if he does, he destroys himself.”

After reading this twice or thrice over, as distinctly as I could, I asked, “My brethren, is this right, or is it wrong?” Mr. Bell answered immediately, “It is right; it is all right. It is the truth. In this we must all come, or we never can come to Christ.” Mr. Bray said, “I believe our brother Bell did not hear what you read, or did not rightly understand.” But Mr. Bell replied short, “Yes, I heard every word; and I understand it well. I say, it is the truth; it is the very truth; it is the inward truth.” Many then labored to prove, that my brother and I laid too much stress upon the ordinances. To put this matter beyond dispute, “I,” said Mr. Bowes, “used the ordinances twenty years; yet I found not Christ. But I left them off only for a few weeks, and I found him then. And I am now as close united to him as my arm is to my body.”

One asked, whether they would suffer Mr. Wesley to preach at Fetter-Lane. After a short debate, it was answered, “No: This place is taken for the Germans.” Some asked, whether the Germans had converted any soul in England: Whether they had not done us much hurt, instead of good; raising a division of which we could see no end: And whether God did not many times use Mr. Wesley for the healing our divisions, when we were all in confusion. Several roundly replied, “Confusion! What do you mean? We were never in any confusion at all.” I said, “Brother Edmonds, you ought not to say so; because I have your letters now in my hands.” Mr. Edmonds replied, “That is not the first time I have put darkness for light, and light for darkness.”

We continued in useless debate till about eleven. I then gave them up to God.

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A few of us joined with my mother in the great sacrifice of thanksgiving; and then consulted how to proceed with regard to our poor brethren of Fetter-Lane: We all saw the thing was now come to a crisis, and were therefore unanimously agreed what to do.

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At Mr. Seward’s earnest request, I preached once more in Moorfields, on the “work of faith,” and the “patience of hope,” and the “labor of love.” A zealous man was so kind as to free us from most of the noisy, careless hearers, (or spectators rather,) by reading, meanwhile, at a small distance, a chapter in the “Whole Duty of Man.” I wish neither he nor they may ever read a worse book; though I can tell them of a better, — the Bible.

In the evening I went with Mr. Seward to the Love-Feast in Fetter-Lane; at the conclusion of which, having said nothing till then, I read a paper, the substance whereof was as follows: —

“About nine months ago certain of you began to speak contrary to the doctrine we had till then received. The sum of what you asserted is this: —

“1. That there is no such thing as weak faith: That there is no justifying faith where there is ever any doubt or fear, or where there is not, in the full sense, a new, a clean heart.

“2. That a man ought not to use those ordinances of God, which our Church terms ‘means of grace,’ before he has such a faith as excludes all doubt and fear, and implies a new, a clean heart. “You have often affirmed, that to search the Scriptures, to pray, or to communicate, before we have this faith, is to seek salvation by works; and that till these works are laid aside, no man can receive faith.

“I believe these assertions to be flatly contrary to the word of God. I have warned you hereof again and again, and besought you to turn back to the Law and the Testimony. I have born with you long, hoping you would turn. But as I find you more and more confirmed in the error of your ways, nothing now remains, but that I should give you up to God. You that are of the same judgment, follow me.”

I then, without saying any thing more, withdrew, as did eighteen or nineteen of the society.

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Mr. Chapman, just come from Germany, gave me a letter from one of our (once) brethren there; wherein, after denying the gift of God, which he received in England, he advised my brother and me, no longer to take upon us to teach and instruct poor souls; but to deliver them up to the care of the Moravians, who alone were able to instruct them. “You,” said he, “only instruct them in such errors, that they will be damned at last;” and added, “St. Peter justly describes you, who ‘have eyes full of adultery, and cannot cease from sin;’ and take upon you to guide unstable souls, and lead them in the way of damnation.”

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Our little company met at the Foundery, instead of Fetter-Lane. About twenty-five of our brethren God hath given us already, all of whom think and speak the same thing; seven or eight and forty likewise, of the fifty women that were in Band, desired to cast in their lot with us.

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I described that “rest” which “remaineth for the people of God.” Sunday, 3. At St. Luke’s, our parish church, was such a sight as, I believe, was never seen there before: Several hundred communicants, from whose very faces one might judge, that they indeed sought Him that was crucified.

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I dined with one who told me, in all simplicity, “Sir, I thought last week, there could be no such rest as you described; none in this world, wherein we should be so free as not to desire ease in pain. But God has taught me better. For on Friday and Saturday, when I was in the strongest pain, I never once had one moment’s desire of ease; but only, that the will of God might be done.”

In the evening many were gathered together at Long-Lane, on purpose to make a disturbance; having procured a woman to begin, well known in those parts, as neither fearing God nor regarding man. The instant she broke out, I turned full upon her, and declared the love our Lord had for her soul. We then prayed that He would confirm the word of his grace. She was struck to the heart; and shame covered her face. From her I turned to the rest, who melted away like water, and were as men that had no strength. But surely some of them shall find who is their “rock and their strong salvation.”

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Instead of the letters I had lately received, I read a few of those formerly received from our poor brethren who have since then denied the work of God, and vilely cast away their shield. O who shall stand when the jealous God shall visit for these things?

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From Galatians 6:3, I earnestly warned all who had tasted the grace of God,

1. Not to think they were justified, before they had a clear assurance that God had forgiven their sins; bringing in a calm peace, the love of God, and dominion over all sin.

2. Not to think themselves any thing after they had this; but to press forward for the prize of their high calling, even a clean heart, thoroughly renewed after the image of God, in righteousness and true holiness.

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Forty or fifty of those who were seeking salvation desired leave to spend the night together, at the society-room, in prayer and given thanks. Before ten I left them, and lay down. But I could have no quiet rest, being quite uneasy in my sleep, as I found others were too, that were asleep in other parts of the house. Between two and three in the morning I was waked, and desired to come down stairs. I immediately heard such a confused noise, as if a number of men were all putting to the sword. It increased when I came into the room and began to pray. One whom I particularly observed to be roaring aloud for pain was J—— W——, who had been always, till then, very sure that “none cried out but hypocrites:” So had Mrs. S——ms also. But she too now cried to God with a loud and bitter cry. It was not long before God heard from his holy place. He spake, and all our souls were comforted. He bruised Satan under our feet; and sorrow and sighing fled away.

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I called on one who, being at Long-Lane on Monday, the 4th instant, was exceeding angry at those that “pretended to be in fits,” particularly at one who dropped down just by her. She was just going “to kick her out of the way,” when she dropped down herself, and continued in violent agonies for an hour. Being afraid, when she came to herself, that her mother would judge of her as she herself had done of others, she resolved to hide it from her. But the moment she came into the house, she dropped down in as violent an agony as before. I left her weary and heavy laden, under a deep sense of the just judgment of God.

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I enforced that necessary caution, “Let him that standeth take heed lest he fall.” Let him that is full of joy and love, take heed lest he fall into pride; he that is in calm peace, lest he fall into desire; and he that is in heaviness through manifold temptations, lest he fall into anger or impatience.

I afterwards heard a sermon, setting forth the duty of getting a good estate, and keeping a good reputation. Is it possible to deny (supposing the Bible true) that such a Preacher is a “blind leader of the blind?”

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I was desired to go and pray with one who had sent for me several times before, lying in the New Prison, under sentence of death, which was to be executed in a few days. I went; but the gaoler said, Mr. Wilson, the Curate of the parish, had ordered I should not see him.

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I offered remission of sins to a small serious congregation near Deptford. Toward the end, a company of persons came in, dressed in habits fit for their work, and labored greatly either to provoke or divert the attention of the hearers. But no man answering them a word, they were soon weary, and went away.

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I was deeply considering those points wherein our German brethren affirm we err from the faith, and resenting how much holier some of them were than me, or any people I had yet known. But I was cut short in the midst by those words of St. Paul, (1 Timothy 5:21,) “I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things, without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.”

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I was desired to pray with an old hardened sinner, supposed to be at the point of death. He knew not me; nor ever had heard me preach. I spoke much; but he opened not his mouth. But no sooner did I name “the Savior of sinners,” than he burst out, “The Savior of sinners indeed! I know it: For he has saved me. He told me so on Sunday morning. And he said, I should not die yet, till I had heard his children preach his Gospel, and had told my old companions in sin, that he is ready to save them too.”

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A gentlewoman (one Mrs. C——) desired to speak with me, and related a strange story: — On Saturday, the 16th instant, (as she informed me,) one Mrs. G., of Northampton, deeply convinced of sin, and therefore an abomination to her husband, was by him put into Bedlam. On Tuesday she slipped out of the gate with some other company; and after awhile, not knowing whither to go, sat down at Mrs. C.’s door. Mrs. C., knowing nothing of her, advised her the next day to go to Bedlam again; and went with her, where she was then chained down, and treated in the usual manner — This is the justice of men! A poor highwayman is hanged; and Mr. G. esteemed a very honest man!

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I desired one who had seen affliction herself to go and visit Mrs. G. in Bedlam; where it pleased God greatly to knit their hearts together, and with his comforts to refresh their souls. Disputes being now at an end, and all things quiet and calm, on Monday, SEPTEMBER 1, I left London, and the next evening found my brother at Bristol, swiftly recovering from his fever. At seven, it pleased God to apply those words to the hearts of many backsliders, “How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? How shall I deliver thee, Israel? How shall I make thee as Adam? How shall I set thee as Zeboim? Mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together.” (Hosea 11:8.)

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I met with one who, having been lifted up with the abundance of joy which God had given her, had fallen into such blasphemies and vain imaginations as are not common to men. In the afternoon I found another instance, nearly, I fear, of the same kind: One who, after much of the love of God shed abroad in her heart, was become wise far above what is written, and set her private revelations (so called) on the self-same foot with the written word. She zealously maintained,

1. That Christ had died for angels as well as men.

2. That none of the angels kept their first estate; but all sinned, less or more.

3. That by the death of Christ three things were effected: One part of the fallen spirits were elected, and immediately confirmed in holiness and happiness, who are now the holy angels; another part of them, having more deeply sinned, were reprobated, who are now devils; and the third part, allowed a farther trial; and in order thereto, sent down from heaven, and imprisoned in bodies of flesh and blood, who are now human souls.

— In the evening I earnestly besought them all to keep clear of vain speculations, and seek only for the plain, practical “truth, which is after godliness.”

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A remarkable cause was tried: Some time since, several men made a great disturbance during the evening sermon here, behaving rudely to the women, and striking the men who spake not to them. A Constable standing by, pulled out his staff, and commanded them to keep the peace. Upon this one of them swore he would be revenged; and going immediately to a Justice, made oath, that he (the Constable) had picked his pocket, who was accordingly bound over to the next Sessions. At these, not only the same man, but two of his companions, swore the same thing. But there being eighteen or twenty witnesses on the other side, the Jury easily saw through the whole proceeding, and without going out at all, or any demur, brought in the prisoner not guilty.

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Our Lord brought home many of his banished ones. In the evening we cried mightily unto him, that brotherly love might continue and increase. And it was according to our faith.

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I met the Bands in Kingswood, and warned them, with all authority, to beware of being wise above that is written, and to desire to know nothing but Christ crucified.

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We set out early in the morning, and the next evening came to London. Wednesday, 10. I visited one that was in violent pain, and consumed away with pining sickness; but in “every thing giving thanks,” and greatly “rejoicing in hope of the glory of God.” From her we went to another, dangerously ill of the small-pox, but desiring neither life nor ease, but only the holy will of God. If these are unbelievers, (as some of the still brethren have lately told them,) I am content to be an unbeliever all my days.

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I visited a poor woman, who, lying ill between her two sick children, without either physic, or food convenient for her, was mightily praising God her Savior, and testifying, as often as she could speak, her desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ.

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As I returned home in the evening, I had no sooner stepped out of the coach, than the mob, who were gathered in great numbers about my door, quite closed me in. I rejoiced and blessed God, knowing this was the time I had long been looking for; and immediately spake to those that were next me, of “righteousness, and judgment to come.” At first not many heard, the noise round about us being exceeding great. But the silence spread farther and farther, till I had a quiet, attentive congregation: And when I left them, they all showed much love, and dismissed me with many blessings.

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Many more, who came in among us as lions, in a short space became as lambs; the tears trickling apace down their cheeks, who at first most loudly contradicted and blasphemed. I wonder the devil has not wisdom enough to discern that he is destroying his own kingdom. I believe he has never yet, any one time, caused this open opposition to the truth of God, without losing one, or more, of his servants, who were found of God, while they sought Him not.

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A poor woman gave me an account of what, I think, ought never to be forgotten. It was four years, she said, since her son, Peter Shaw, then nineteen or twenty years old, by hearing a sermon of Mr. Wh——y’s, fell into great uneasiness. She thought he was ill, and would have sent for a physician; but he said, “No, no. Send for Mr. Wh——.” He was sent for, and came; and after asking her a few questions, told her, “The boy is mad. Get a coach, and carry him to Dr. M——. Use my name. I have sent several such to him.” Accordingly, she got a coach, and went with him immediately to Dr. M——’s house. Then the Doctor came in, the young man rose and said, “Sir, Mr. Wh—— has sent me to you.” The Doctor asked, “Is Mr. Wh—— your Minister?” and bid him put out his tongue. Then, without asking any questions, he told his mother, “Choose your Apothecary, and I will prescribe.” According to his prescriptions they, the next day, blooded him largely, confined him to a dark room, and put a strong blister on each of his arms, with another over all his head. But still he was as “mad” as before, praying, or singing, or giving thanks continually: Of which having labored to cure him for six weeks in vain, though he was now so weak he could not stand alone, his mother dismissed the Doctor and Apothecary, and let him be “beside himself” in peace.

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The prince of the air made another attempt in defense of his tottering kingdom. A great number of men having got into the middle of the Foundery began to speak big, swelling words; so that my voice could hardly be heard, while I was reading the eleventh chapter of the Acts. But immediately after, the hammer of the word brake the rocks in pieces: All quietly heard the glad tidings of salvation; and some, I trust, not in vain.

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Wanting a little time for retirement, which it was almost impossible for me to have in London, I went to Mr. Piers’s, at Bexley; where, in the mornings and evenings, I expounded the Sermon on the Mount; and had leisure during the rest of the day for business of other kinds. On Saturday, 27, I returned.

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I began expounding the same scripture at London. In the afternoon I described to a numerous congregation at Kennington, the life of God in the soul. One person who stood on the mount made a little noise at first; but a gentleman, whom I knew not, walked up to him, and, without saying one word, mildly took him by the hand and led him down. From that time he was quiet till he went away.

When I came home, I found an innumerable mob round the door, who opened all their throats the moment they saw me. I desired my friends to go into the house; and then walking into the midst of the people, proclaimed “the name of the Lord, gracious and merciful, and repenting him of the evil.” They stood staring one at another. I told them, they could not flee from the face of this great God: And therefore besought them, that we might all join together in crying to Him for mercy. To this they readily agreed: I then commended them to his grace, and went undisturbed to the little company within.

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As I was expounding the twelfth of the Acts, a young man, with some others, rushed in, cursing and swearing vehemently; and so disturbed all near him, that, after a time, they put him out. I observed it, and called to let him come in, that our Lord might bid his chains fall off. As soon as the sermon was over, he came and declared before us all that he was a smuggler, then going on that work; as his disguise, and the great bag he had with him, showed. But he said, he must never do this more: For he was now resolved to have the Lord for his God.

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I explained the difference between being called a Christian, and being so: And God overruled the madness of the people, so that after I had spoke a few words, they were quiet and attentive to the end.

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While I was preaching at Islington, and rebuking sharply those that had made shipwreck of the faith, a woman dropped down, struck, as was supposed, with death, having the use of all her limbs quite taken from her: But she knew the next day, she should “not die, but live, and declare the loving-kindness of the Lord.”

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I met with a person who was to be pitied indeed. He was once a zealous Papist; but, being convinced he was wrong, cast off Popery and Christianity together. He told me at once, “Sir, I scorn to deceive you, or any man living: Don’t tell me of your Bible: I value it not: I do not believe a word of it.” I asked, “Do you believe there is a God? And what do you believe concerning Him?” He replied, “I know there is a God; and I believe him to be the soul of all, the Anima Mundi: If he be not rather, as I sometimes think is more probable, the To Pan the whole compages of body and spirit, every where diffused. But farther than this, I know not: All is dark; my thought is lost. Whence I come, I know not; nor what or why I am; nor whither I am going: But this I know, I am unhappy: I am weary of life: I wish it were at an end.” I told him, I would pray to the God in whom I believed, to show him more light before he went hence; and to convince him, how much advantage every way a believer in Christ had over an infidel.

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I found one who was a fresh instance of that strange truth, “The servants of God suffer nothing.” His body was well-nigh torn asunder with pain: But God made all his bed in his sickness: So that he was continually giving thanks to God, and making his boast of His praise. At five, I besought all that were present, to “be followers of God, as dear children; and to walk in love, as Christ also loved us, and gave himself for us.” Many who were gathered together for that purpose, endeavored by shouting to drown my voice: But I turned upon them immediately, and offered them deliverance from their hard master. The word sunk deep into them, and they opened not their mouth. Satan, thy kingdom hath suffered loss. Thou fool! How long wilt thou contend with Him that is mightier than thou?

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I began declaring that “Gospel of Christ” which “is the power of God unto salvation,” in the midst of the publicans and sinners, at Short’s Gardens, Drury-Lane.

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I spent an hour with Mr. St——. O what πιθανολογια, “persuasiveness of speech,” is here! Surely, all the deceivableness of unrighteousness. Who can escape, except God be with him?

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I was informed of an awful providence. A poor wretch, who was here last week, cursing and blaspheming, and laboring with all his might to hinder the word of God, had afterwards boasted to many, that he would come again on Sunday, and no man should stop his mouth then. But on Friday God laid his hand upon him, and on Sunday he was buried. Yet on Sunday, the 26th, while I was enforcing that great question with an eye to the spiritual resurrecting “Why should it be thought a thing incredible with you, that God should raise the dead?” the many-headed beast began to roar again. I again proclaimed deliverance to the captives; and their deep attention showed that the word sent to them, did not return empty.

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The surprising news of poor Mr. S——d’s death was confirmed. Surely God will maintain his own cause. Righteous art thou, O Lord!

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While I was preaching at Long-Lane, the storm was so exceeding high, that the house we were in shook continually: But so much the more did many rejoice in Him whom the winds and the seas obey; finding they were ready to obey his call, if He should then require their souls of them.

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We distributed, as every one had need, among the numerous poor of our society, the clothes of several kinds, which many who could spare them had brought for that purpose.

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I had the comfort of finding all our brethren that are in Band, of one heart and of one mind.

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Early in the morning I set out, and the next evening came to Bristol.

I found my brother (to supply whose absence I came) had been in Wales for some days. The next morning I inquired particularly into the state of the little flock. In the afternoon we met together to pour out our souls before God, and beseech Him to bring back into the way those who had erred from his commandments.

I spent the rest of the week in speaking with as many as I could, either comforting the feeble-minded, or confirming the wavering, or endeavoring to find and save that which was lost.

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After communicating at St. James’s, our parish church, with a numerous congregation, I visited several of the sick. Most of them were ill of the spotted fever; which, they informed me, had been extremely mortal; few persons recovering from it. But God had said, “Hitherto shalt thou come.” I believe there was not one with whom we were, but recovered. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I visited many more, partly of those that were sick or weak, partly of “the lame” that had been “turned out of the way;” having a confidence in God, that He would yet return unto every one of these and leave a blessing behind Him.

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My brother returned from Wales. So, early on Friday, 21, I left Bristol, and on Saturday, in the afternoon, came safe to London.

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After several methods proposed for employing those who were out of business, we determined to make a trial of one which several of our brethren recommended to us. Our aim was, with as little expense as possible, to keep them at once from want and from idleness; in order to which, we took twelve of the poorest, and a teacher, into the society-room, where they were employed for four months, till spring came on, in carding and spinning of cotton: And the design answered: They were employed and maintained with very little more than the produce of their own labor.

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A gentleman came to me full of goodwill, to exhort me not to leave the Church; or (which was the same thing in his account) to use extemporary prayer; which, said he, “I will prove to a demonstration to be no prayer at all. For you cannot do two things at once. But thinking how to pray, and praying, are two things. Ergo, you cannot both think and pray at once.” Now, may it not be proved by the self-same demonstration, that praying by a form is no prayer at all? e.g. “You cannot do two things at once. But reading and praying are two things. Ergo, you cannot both read and pray at once.” Q. E. D.

In the afternoon I was with one of our sisters, who, for two days, was believed to be in the agonies of death, being then in travail with her first child: But the pain, she declared, was as nothing to her; her soul being filled, all that time, with “joy unspeakable.”

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Finding many of our brethren and sisters offended at each other, I appointed the several accusers to come and speak face to face with the accused. Some of them came almost everyday this week. And most of the offenses vanished away. Where any doubt remained, I could only advise them each to look to his own heart; and to suspend their judgments of each other, till God should “bring to light the hidden things of darkness.”

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Having received many unpleasing accounts concerning our little society in Kingswood, I left London, and after some difficulty and danger, by reason of much ice on the road, on Saturday evening came to my brother at Bristol, who confirmed to me what I did not desire to hear.

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I went to Kingswood, intending, if it should please God, to spend some time there, if haply I might be an instrument in his hand, of repairing the breaches which had been made, that we might aging with one heart and one mouth, glorify the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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I began expounding, both in the morning and evening, our Lord’s Sermon upon the Mount. In the daytime I labored to heal the jealousies and misunderstandings which had arisen, warning every man, and exhorting every man, “See that ye fall not out by the way.”

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In the afternoon I preached on, “Let patience have her perfect work.” The next evening Mr. Cennick came back from a little journey into Wiltshire. I was greatly surprised when I went to receive him, as usual, with open arms, to observe him quite cold; so that a stranger would have judged he had scarce ever seen me before. However, for the present, I said nothing, but did him honor before the people.

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I pressed him to explain his behavior. He told me many stories which he had heard of me: Yet it seemed to me, something was still behind: So I desired we might meet again in the morning.

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A few of us had a long conference together. Mr. C—— now told me plainly, he could not agree with me, because I did not preach the truth, in particular with regard to elections. We then entered a little into the controversy; but without effect.

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In the morning I enforced those words, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought to love one another.” Three of our sisters I saw in the afternoon, all supposed to be near death, and calmly rejoicing in hope of speedily going to Him whom their souls loved.

At the love-feast which we had in the evening at Bristol, seventy or eighty of our brethren and sisters from Kingswood were present, not with standing the heavy snow. We all walked back together, through the most violent storm of sleet and snow which I ever remember; the snow also lying above knee-deep in many places. But our hearts were warmed, so that we went on, rejoicing and praising God for the consolation.

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My brother set out for London. Thursday, 25 I met with such a case, as I do not remember either to have known or heard of before. L— —a Sm——, after many years’ mourning, was filled with peace and joy in believing. In the midst of this, without any discernible cause, such a cloud suddenly overwhelmed her, that she could not believe her sins were ever forgiven her at all; nor that there was any such thing as forgiveness of sins. She could not believe that the Scriptures were true; nor that there was any heaven or hell, or angel, or spirit, or any God. One more I have since found in the same state. So sure it is, that all faith is the gift of God; which the moment he withdraws, the evil heart of unbelief will poison the whole soul.

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I returned early in the morning to Kingswood, in order to preach at the usual hour. But my congregation was gone to hear Mr. C— —, so that (except a few from Bristol) I had not above two or three men, and as many women, the same number I had had once or twice before. In the evening I read nearly through a treatise of Dr. John Edwards, on “The Deficiency of Human Knowledge and Learning.” Surely, never man wrote like this man! At least, none of all whom I have seen. I have not seen so haughty, overbearing, pedantic a writer. Stiff and trifling in the same breath; positive and opinionated to the last degree, and of course treating others with no more good manners than justice. But above all, sour, ill-natured, morose without a parallel, which indeed is his distinguishing character. Be his opinion right or wrong, if Dr. Edwards’s temper were the Christian temper, I would abjure Christianity for ever.

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I was sent for by one who had been a zealous opposer of “this way.” But the Lover of souls now opened her eyes, and cut her off from trusting in the multitude of her good works: So that, finding no other hope left, she fled, poor and naked, to the blood of the covenant, and, a few days after, gladly gave up her soul into the hands of her faithful Redeemer.

At six, the body of Alice Philips being brought into the room, I explained, “Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.” This was she whom ever her master turned away the last year, for receiving the Holy Ghost. And she had then scarce where to lay her head. But she hath now an house of God, eternal in the heavens.

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Many from Bristol came over to us, and our love was greatly confirmed toward each other. At half an hour after eight, the house was filled from end to end, where we concluded the year, wrestling with God in prayer, and praising him for the wonderful work which he had already wrought upon earth.

January 1, 1741. — I explained, “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.” But many of our brethren, I found, had no ears to hear; having disputed away both their faith and love. In the evening, out of the fullness that was given me, I expounded those words of St. Paul, (indeed of every true believer,) “To me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

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